Want dm that pulls its head off? Then Pitch for it!

My old companion in arms Neil Flett* wrote a book or two on "pitching". But what Neil calls pitching is far too gentlemanly a word for it. Long before the oily men of adland described fawning and sucking up to clients to win their business as "pitching", there were "The Pitchmen" - born again salesmen who travelled the carnival routes with a carpetbag full of snake oil or the like. They can still be seen operating today in some 'paddy's markets' (pitching perfume or watches). They gather a crowd and deliver their speil.

They aren't short. Up to 20 minutes can go by as these masters of melodrama, dramatising every feature of their product into a benefit, hold the baying crowd back, refusing to let them buy his product until he has them at climax point. Then he lets them rush the table and throw their money down.

The earliest direct response tv commercials went to air in the early 1950s in the USA and they used pitchmen doing the pitch to camera. The commercial for Vitamix, the first blender, last half an hour. It was listed in the tv program guide and it even out rated Lawrence Welk and His Orchestra. (OK, so the test pattern could have done that as well.) It was dramatic. It was entertaining. It was educational. It was a darn sight better than the crap that fills free-to-air tv time on the fringes and in the regions - infomercials with no info. Bland bullshit.

The middle aged Vitamix pitchman had the viewers believing that their failure to buy and use a Vitamix to preserve the goodness in the food they served their families was undermining American culture and endangering national security - leaving the nation vulnerable to Russian invasion. And they believed him because he was believable.

If someone out there has a copy of the 5 minutes that survive from the Vitamix commercial, please post it on Utube and let us know. I had a VHS copy - very scratchy. Think they threw it out after I left Boomerang.

Caution: The Program is Suitable for Idiots and Above

I paid $300 to PR Web to send a press release. They offered me so many options I can't remember what I get. I dunno what's happening. ANd their much-vaunted stats package refuses to reveal my press release's performance to me. SO I wrote to the Help Desk: (I'll let you know what they say.)

......

Dear Sir/Madam

I cannot find a way to access my stats. My account page looks nothing like the one used to illustrate how easy it is for everyone else but me to see their stats. I'm sorry. When I log in I get nothing like that. IS it because use a Mac and Firefox? Or because I'm Australian? Is there a rule that every "user friendly system" is created by people who are so IT literate that they assume knowledge that average users don't have. And because we are isolated and alone when we suffer through the process of trying to second guess the geeks who designed it, that we feel that there's something wrong with us when it's you and your dyslexic system which has all the "obvious" functions hidden beneath some innovative new GUI feature that is the compete idiot? Standardisation? Ever thought of it? HWt don't you and PayPal and Slideshare and all the DIY systems standardise? That would be poison to web programmers. They want to make their mark. And so that users face a barrier to usage. Would McDonald's make their burgers hard to get at? No? They make them easy to get at. That's why they sell so many. Get the picture? Ok. I am finished. I have had this trouble with so many DIY web apps. You guys delude yourselves into believing your system is idiot-proof because the power-users who you normally mix with can second guess what the web programmer was thinking when they hid the "Go" button. Or maybe you build dysfunctionality in as a game. Well I'm sick of playing your games. Just tell me which "obvious" thing I overlooked for getting to my stats and I'll look and feel stupid (again) and get on with my life until tempted to use another wonderful DIY web app. Why don't you put a sign on the home page that says: "This application is for idiots and better. Complete idiots nstay clear."
Thank you.

Adopt an Australian Sheep: Unique Last Minute Christmas Gift

Hi,

I have a lesson for you. Don't assume you understand your customers' purchase motivations. You'll find there is more to your offering than first meets the eye. Squeeze the lemon until the pips squeak, and you give yourself many more copypoints for your marketing effort.EG. When I thought the thousands of people 'adopting' our sheep were doing it to help us survive the drought, I was half wrong. They do like to help struggling farmers. But that's only one benefit they get from it.

UNIQUE GIFT: Sheep or lamb adoption is also attractive because they are unique - the perfect gift for the person who has everything. Some givers report the receivers get quite emotional on seeing their adopted sheep.

AUSSIE GIFT: A genuine Australian sheep who lives at an identifiable property and is looked after by an identifiable farmer who you can email and talk to by telephone is about as Aussie as you can get. Perfect for people who live overseas. Expats in London adopt sheep to give each other as gifts.

URGENT DELIVERY VIA EMAIL: You can get your sponsorship certificate within minutes of placing your request, if needed, thanks to our telephone/Internet/email system. So if you are caught after the shops close on Christmas Eve, you can go to www.adoptasheep.com.au or www.adoptalamb.com.au, order and pay for your adoption, then call us to flag the urgency and give us the details of the names you want to give your sheep. We can then issue a certificate on the spot, and send it to you by email for printing at your end. Roll it up, tie it with some ribbon, and voila! Gift Ready.

SEND OVERSEAS INSTANTLY: The 'gift' takes the form of a certificate which shows the adopted sheep, its name and the name of the adopter or gift recipient. These certificates can easily be sent via email and printed out at the recipient's end. Instant gift!

ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SOLUTION: One gentleman ordered 21 adoptions - one for each of his children and grand children. He did all his Christmas shopping in only a few minutes.

THE GIFT THAT EDUCATES: Children can be engaged in the story of their sheep, and learn about the wool industry and its role in building Australia. Adopters can request a sample of fleece and can read about the flock and the wool industry on our blog sites.

THE DONATION YOU CAN ENJOY: Some families are trying to reduce the focus on "getting presents" by giving the money they would have spent on a gift to a charity on behalf of the recipient. While other charities are worthy, they don't give you a sheep or lamb to love and read about and write letters to and put on your wall.

And how do you squeeze the lemon? By speaking and listening to your customers.

Cheers!

MK

PS. On www.adoptalamb.com.au you will find we have Lamb greetings cards and Lamb t-shirts and a "shearing at Uamby" DVD for sale. We're nutty about sheep. How can you not love a lamb?

Conrad gilds his lily somewhat...

Hi,

There's an old joke that, behind bars, everyone is innocent. It means that everyone you meet inside says, sincerely, "I didn' do it." Lord Black of Crossharbour - Conrad Black to you - has been so blatant with his lying hat the prosecutor asking the judge to sentence him to extra prison time for his “stunning lack of remorse”. Blackie, as he might be known among his mates doing porridge, declared that he had done “absolutely nothing” wrong and claimed that he was the victim of persecution.

“If I appeared and sounded humble, I would be described as a broken, disgraced man who is admitting he's a criminal. Well, the fact is I am innocent,” he said. “When you are innocent and when you are wrongly accused, how do you conduct yourself? Do you roll over and say, 'Well, I'm innocent, but since I've been found guilty, I'm going to be humble and full of remorse?' I would have thought not.”

John Laws and Allan Jones made the same pronouncement. Conrad as caught on his own security camera destroying records while the two radio oracles denied the undeniable as recorded from their broadcasts.

Could it be the Howard Punters' Attention Span Theory: the average Joe and Joette don't listen to the ABC and don't follow politics or business news or anything much really, except sports and celebrity gossip. SO you can do and say anything you like. It's as though you don't exist or you're invisible. Just make noises about 'them' and say you're innocent.

Try it.

MK

PS. (The British grocery milk fraud and the Black episode let John Howard off the hook.)

How to predict losers and winners in market share battles

More than ten years ago I predicted that Mitsubishi and Ford would fall on hard times and that Toyota would rise to dominance over Holden, despite the GMH stranglehold of the profitable middle market with the New Commodore. I predicted the movement in the market based upon brand dimensions as measured by an ingenious device called the "Quality of Sales Index" (invented by my friend and colleague Constant Behrens).

What do we mean by "the quality of a sale"? One sale can look much like another, but the difference in quality when you look underneath can be spectacular. Sale A might be the fourth such purchase of the brand, not prompted by a promotion, and likely to have bought accessories from the dealer, where the buyer will have all services done. Sale B might be the first (and only) time the buyer has chosen the brand, bought on price, responded to a promotion, and gets cheap accessories from Backyard Barry's where he gets his service done. (A bit of database analysis would tell you this.) Buyer A's transaction added to the brand equity of the company and Buyer B's did the reverse. If you have a high proportion of Buyer As, the chances are your sales figures will grow. If you have a high proportion of Bs, the reverse is the case.

When Constant and I allowed Toyota's research agency to run the Quality of Sales Index analysis on a mixed group of automotive buyers, the result was Holden No 1, Toyota a close No. 2. Ford was a good distance away at No.3. And Mitsubishi was a sorry last at No.4. We have 2 questions we ask to reveal a person's brand-attachment or brand-engagement. Once you know the concentration levels (on the Quality of Sales Index), you can determine which brands were in trouble - no matter what the market share data says. It says which direction sales are likely to go. On the basis of this one test, I predicted that Toyota would surplant Holden as the "Aussie" brand sometime in the next 5 years.

Let's look at the sales data over the period between when we made the assessment and now. In 1997, Ford at 18% was No. 1 in sales for its 3rd consecutive year. Toyota was No. 2 with 17.5%. and Holden No. 3 with 17.1%. Mitsubishi with 11.9% came in at No.4. But the QOS Index had them in this order: Holden, Toyota, Ford and Mitsubishi.

So what happened? Ford slipped from 21.5% in 1995 to 11.9% in 2006. A severe collapse, and all driven by lack of connection between its brand and its buyers. While the Ford execs were celebrating '97's results (18%), the undertakers were measuring them up. Mitsubishi had a shorter distance to fall from '97 (11.9%) to 2006 (6%), but nearly halving your market share is no mean feat. Mitsubishi buyers are not offered a brand, just a deal. (Both Mitsubishi and Ford hired ex-Toyota execs hoping some of the magic would rub off. It didn't.)

Holden's market share from the 1997 figure of 17% rose to 27.5% in 2000 on the back of the New Commodore. But, as predicted, the brand connections were unravelling and it fell to to 15.2% in 2006. From March 2003, it lost the leader's jacket to Toyota which collected 22.2% market share in 2006. It is expected to repeat the performance in 2007.

What lessons are there in this meander through the past? What fools we were not to offer this analysis tool to the endangered brands. (Toyota never paid us a cent for the exercise). What fools we were not to offer it to brands in other categories. It's like a crystal ball. And it identifies the problem for the forthcoming fall from grace. The most important lesson is about brand attachment and engagement. Without it you're going nowhere. And how do you build brand attachment? One person at a time.

Mad cow disease hits British supermarkets

Qantas, Visy, and Telstra are only copycatting British grocery chains when they rip customers off and try to deny the bleeding obvious... Has everyone in big companies gone mad? Is is Climate Change?

This week all the British majors in groceryland have been found guilty of colluding with their milk supplier to fix prices.
Sainsbury's, Safeway and Asda admitted to the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) that they were part of a price-fixing group that took £270m extra from shoppers. They agreed to pay fines totalling £116m while the cases against Tesco and Morrisons continue after no deal was struck.

Now get this: caught red handed, then lie about it. (Pattern?) The OFT said that the amount received by farmers did not increase. Like Telstra, the majors must have read Hitler's book in which he said always tell a big lie because people are more likely to believe a big lie. All the grocers caught with their 'fingers on the scales' in this case insist that the farm gate price paid for milk did rise and that they were not ripping off customers. "There is no suggestion that what took place was an attempt to make more profit," said Justin King, chief executive, Sainsbury's. Why did it agree to pay a £26m fine? Either the OFT is lying or the CEOs of the majors are lying.

A despairing British shopper said: "Fining them is going to achieve what?...Overcharged twice, once for the milk, and then once to cover the fine"

Of course you can't say they'll be punished by the market. They control the market. The British grocery market has the world's second highest concentration of ownership. Britain's is a cartel. The highest: Australia. A duopoly.

When size is all that matters

My friend and mentor Mike Connor (ex-Unisys, ex-IBM, ex-something else, I forget)sent this comment:

"I'm here in Port Bundaberg and can't receive Next G. Not only that, the Mac software provided by a Telstra supplier will not work with Leapord. I did have a Telstra exec suss it out and sent technitions up here. I'm in a "blind" spot...
As for your concern about being true in your advertising, you only promised to have a marketing thought-a-day - you never promised to write about it.
Keep 'em comin' Mate!

Are brands coated with teflon?

Visy, Qantas and now Telstra... in the dock.

I have friends who work for Telstra who are intelligent, honest people. So it pains me when their employer acts like a boofhead.

Telstra told lies in its advertising: Next G is not everywhere you need it. Far from it, Next G covers less than a quarter of Australia. A Federal Court found the Telco guilty… and it is. And it is telling more lies to defend the first set of lies.

Telstra’s Peter Taylor tried to redefine what the ads said, claiming they did not promise complete coverage. Instead he says they meant to say that: “Telstra's Next G network is the largest mobile network in Australia that provides coverage in more places in Australia than any other mobile network including the old CDMA network.''

The ACCC and the Court assumed that normal consumers would think ‘everywhere you need it’ meant everywhere they were likely to go, no exceptions.

Mr Taylor’s defence is curious: He seems to argue that Telstra customers don’t expect honesty in advertising from Telstra. "Telstra gives its customers credit for understanding advertising. Do people really believe that Vegemite puts a rose in every cheek?''

So it comes under the heading of “puffery” and no doubt Telstra’s legal team will rely on the Carbolic Smoke Ball Company case in torts which enshrines in law the advertiser’s right to use world like ‘the best’ to describe their offerings.

It is one thing to fall foul of the ‘misleading and deceptive’ provisions of the consumer protection regulations. But you take your medicine and move on. But not Telstra. That Sol Trujillo. He’s got cojones.

What the ACCC and the Federal Court fails to understand is that the world ‘you’ in ‘everywhere you need it’ doesn’t mean people who live in rural and remote areas. Many ‘non-you’ people rely on the Telstra’s CDMA network, which it wants to turn off next month.

Meanwhile Telstra chief executive Sol Trujillo earns $22million a year. How does that work?

Industry commentator and editor of iWire, Stuart Corner, says: “When I first saw Telstra's advertising slogan for Next G claiming ‘coverage everywhere you need it’ I thought it unwise, because it is patently false. My second thought was that Telstra is going to be in trouble for this, and it did not take long for the ACCC to prove me right. Telstra has vowed to appeal a federal court decision that its Next G advertising was and continues to be misleading. It would do better to let the matter rest ... The only company that could make the claim "coverage everywhere you need it" with any real claim to accuracy would be a satellite operator.”

Blatant lies. Is this the future of corporate governance? Or is it the past, the moral legacy of the Howard era where telling lies was acceptable for the PM and his cabinet.

PS. Did you note the irony here: me, accusing Telstra of making misleading statements? Mr Thought-A-Day. It's one thing to be a hyocrite. it's entirely another to recognise it. Now where's my $22million?

Aliens abducted me and made me watch TV

While I was held hostage by aliens in a space ship orbiting Earth for the last little while, they let me watch TV. I saw the tragic treatment the Victorian Racing Authorities handed out to the sponsors of the races during the Melbourne Cup Carnival. They let the CEOs of the sponsors take as long as they needed to convince TV viewers at home that their company was being run by a brain dead automoton. The Racing people knew no-one was watching except we alien abduction victims. And I'll bet it was music to the ears of the sales person sent to sell the sponsorships. On Melbourne Cup Day, the only CEO who should have been let loose near a camera was the guy from the coffee brand: Lavattza? He spoke intelligently. The rest? Was there not a single advisor to tell the EMPEROR he was' naked? If you are a marketing manager or CEO and you sponsor events and they invite you to speak on camera, hire an actor to do it. You are not 1. good looking enough 2. articulate enough 3. thin enough 4. entertaining enough or 5. credible enough to be projected at people in their homes . And avoid making remarks about the event as though you're an expert. No one cares what you thought. They only want to know you gave the money and they don't care about that either. Why do it? Because you are exploiting a captive audience. And they know it. The only thought I have for a sponsor of the Melbourne Cup is for Fosters - if they had given away free beer for half an hour after the big race was run... at least they would have know someone at the track had tried the stuff... Sponsors are always wrong. TRUE. They think the sponsorship dollar is the investment. "What do I get for that?" You get into the dance hall. Now, what are you going to do to impress the punters?

PS. I once saw a company representative read out a 15 minute monologue clipped from the annual report about all the product ranges, etc. and other inappropriate stuff at an awards ceremony. The room was in a deep coma by the time it stopped. What can you do? Identify a good speaker on the team and make them the spokesperson. Deliver only appropriate information: a few good jokes, but nothing that challenges the host/emccee. Mention the company and its offering - and make a terrific offer - if appropriate. What's a terrific offer? Newsworthy.

Missing blogger wanders into police station with memory loss...

Who am I kidding? I can't even have a thought a month. My brain went AWOL. I didn't have nothin' to say. And if you got nothin' to say, just shut up. If ever you get the urge to write a book, check that it hasn't already been written. I know people who have written many books and haven't said a single thing.

I should'a told you. But that's just one more unnecessary email. So that's that. It's not like I stole from you.You haven't lost anything. I just didn't keep my promise. That's the lesson here. That's right. I did it to show you how customers feel when the delivery doesn't meet the advertising.

Now that we've got that straight and in an attempt to get back in the saddle, I was going to make some predictions for 2008. Identify key marketing trends and given them a cool name. The standard stuff. But instead, I will bring you some insights I had while I was in my coma.

TRUE: All generalisations are wrong. (Including this one. Statements about 'consumer types' may apply for an individuals only in a narrow purchase category. Ie., an early adopter in motor vehicles might also be a laggard or late majority member in computer equipment, etc.)

FALSE: Being connected is important. (If you are the most attractive networking target in the room, you're at the wrong function. We all have too many connections to be effective. Some people are obsessive/compulsive about gathering connections. Some are also addicted to face-to-face meetings.)

FALSE: All successful people have a goal. (Lately I have noticed people who reach the top being applauded have a tendency to say: "never in my wildest dreams". I'm with them. GoalS get in the way of greater achievement. WHY LIMIT YOURSELF TO ONLY REACHING THE STARS?)

FALSE: Market forces rule. (If you are a big player called Visy or Qantas, you can do deals with competitors to fix price floors and steal money from your customers. You won't be sent to gaol like the common criminals are. A lot of Qantas passengers will miss out on seeing Geoff in prison greens. DAMN.) BTW: the same thing happened in the courier and road freight business 15 years ago. They were caught fixing prices and stealng. No one went to jail/gaol. Bad move.

TRUE: Anyone who shaves their head and acts like a guru is a shyster. Now I am not saying Seth Godin is a guru, or acts like one... sort of strange and disconnected at times, then rattling off 'ideas' at a machine gun pace. I didn't say that. Nor did I mean to imply it. Seth is not a guru. No, truly. Every one of Seth's concepts - starting with "Permission" marketing - was born wholey new and was not appropriated from another field (like direct marketing) and renamed in digi-speak. And Seth is not simply a brand construct. He is a real flesh and blood person. While it can be said of advertising that it is the art of capturing a person's attention long enough to extract money from them, it can't be said of Seth. He was 'the new' and always will be, even when he's not.

INSIGHT: Most marketing trendspotters are frauds. TRUE: Nothing is less publicised than the actual performance rating of popular promoters of trends. The king of them all - Tom Peters (In Search of Excellence) - was dethroned when a large number of the 'excellent' companies hit the wall within 5 years of his book appearing. Faith Popcorn is another. Everyone was going to live in "cocoons" at home with their home entertainment centres. (Traditional movie theatres went which way? They went boom through the roof...) The Trend Spotter has only one club in the golf bag: more in the same direction. Little knowing that history never travels in a straight line. Prius and Hummer - both the vehicle of the year. Go figure. Now I am not saying Tom or Faith are trend spotters, or act like one... I didn't say that. Nor did I mean to imply it. They do not make predictions that are vague and hard to prove or disprove. No, truly.

FAITH POPCORN'S PREDICTIONS FOR 2007
(Pssst! Notice how she says something that sounds big, but when you look at it, there's nothing new about it or earth shattering.)

The agency of Trend Spotting legend Faith Popcorn has released their 2007 Trend Report. The enclosed press release describes some of the next big trends.

NEW YORK, Dec. 26 /PRNewswire/—Leading future-focused trend consultancy Faith Popcorn’s BrainReserve anticipates the forging of a new type of identity in the coming years: The New Networked Self. The technological advances of the information age have produced the most powerful tools yet for shaping our collective human destiny. The world has simultaneously become more fluid and more connected, one of both infinite possibility and extreme intimacy. As a result, people are turning away from the ego-driven self-aggrandizement that characterized the old era of hyper-consumption. The New Networked Self is far more ecologically aware than her predecessor and sees herself as a tiny, but instrumental part of a much larger picture that is constantly in flux. With this newfound awareness comes a personal sense of responsibility to understand and engage with the whole.

Identity Flux

Technology has enabled us to experiment with different personalities, leading to a much more fluid sense of who we are. Having tasted the nectar of virtual liberation, we’re beginning to reject the singularly defined roles we’re expected to play in society.

The Future: Gender-neutrality goes mainstream. People list skills on their business cards rather than title, and dress up in various costumes depending on who they feel like being that day.

Liquid Brands

Today’s consumers are capricious and non-committal. Brands will have to become more liquid to keep up with their constantly moving targets.

The Future: Chameleon-like brands focus less on communicating a static message and more on being the right thing for the right persona at the right time. Constantly morphing retailers carry products until they sell out and never restock.

Virtual Immortality

Consumers globally are creating fully fleshed out existences in the virtual world-dressing up their avatars, making friends, having affairs and buying property for their pixilated alter-egos. And now that people have multiple lives, who says you can’t live forever?

The Future: While some let their avatars drift away to online purgatory, many more leave behind specific instructions on how their virtual selves should proceed. Services offering avatar surrogates flourish, and we bequeath avatars to friends and family in our wills.

EnvironMENTAL Movement

Like the movement to combat environmental pollution, the next consumer-led reaction will be against the mental pollution caused by marketers. With every corner of the world both real and virtual becoming plastered with marketing messages, bombarded consumers are starting to say they’ve had enough. The current attack against marketing to kids is just the beginning.

The Future: Companies are expected to reduce the amount of damage they are doing to our minds. Savvy companies sponsor marketing-free white spaces in lieu of polluting the environment with models and logos.

Product PLACEment

In the globally networked age, consumers are much more concerned about the consequences of consumption. Is my garbage poisoning someone in a developing country? How much fuel was burned in order to get these strawberries to my local supermarket?

The Future: Enviro-biographies are attached to just about everything, letting consumers know the entire life story of a product: where the materials were harvested, where it was constructed, how far it traveled, and where it ended up after being thrown away or recycled.

Brand-Aides

The government has let us down when it comes to providing the social services we had once expected from it. Brands are stepping in to take over where the government left off. Companies are already finding there’s profit to be made from providing affordable healthcare to the masses.

The Future: Socially responsible brands make a buck while providing desperately needed services. Communities are revived by Target daycare, Starbucks learning centers, and Avis transportation services for the elderly.

Moral Status Anxiety

In today’s increasingly philanthropic climate, expect conspicuous self- indulgence to go straight to the social guillotine. The globally conscious consumer regards altruistic activities as a necessary part of self- improvement.

The Future: A person’s net worth is no longer measured by dollars earned, but by improvements made. Families compete with each other on how many people they fed while on vacation, and the most envied house on the block is not the biggest, but the most sustainable.

Oldies but Goodies

Our culture is suffering from an experience deficit. With the availability of online knowledge, we’re claiming expertise based only on secondary experience. Now that everyone’s a web-educated know-it-all, we’re secretly longing for authority figures to guide and assure us with indispensable nuggets of wisdom that could only come from having actually accumulated life experience.

The Future: Respect for elders makes a comeback in the form of Ask Your Grandma hotlines and the proliferation of online video clips by seniors showing us how to tie knots and concoct home remedies.

Contact: Faith Popcorn’s BrainReserve
+1-212-772-7778
Fax - +1-212-772-7787
future@FaithPopcorn.com

Setting your personal price

Hi Michael,

Sorry to bother you - I'm a subscriber to your 'Thought of the Day' feeds (which are becoming more like 'thought of the week!!' i look forward to them so keep writing pls).

I have a quick question that I thought your copywriting/marketing experience could help me with: what is the usual copywriting fee p/h for freelancers? Trying to get that information online is harder than trying to extract teeth from a chicken. I'm leaving my current copywriting position and my boss would like me to stay on contract, but I don't know what rate to charge.

Would you mind giving my dilemma a few minutes thought and get back to me asap (we're due to meet to talk about it in the next few days). Sorry - here I am asking you for a favour then rushing you to do it :)

Thanks very much, I look forward to your response.

............

Dear (name),

If I can post my response to you (without mentioning your name) on my blog...

There is no scale for copywriters like there is for public servants and members of symphony orchestras... You are entering a pure market. A perfect market. Two individuals meet, find a means of agreeing on the value of a good or service. This is done without reference to governments or regulators. It is free market to the max. After agreeing on the "value" of the stuff, then they might enter a contract. At this stage they refer to an outside body (the law of contract).

So, what have we to work with? In your case and in every case in a free market, price is set by market forces. Demand.

The Art of Negotiation is the science of settling on a price. Any basic text on negotiation will give you the fundamentals.

The words above: 'find a means of agreeing' are the fulcrum for balancing the equation. Look for a way to 'frame' the valuation that both sides can agree on.

Such "frames" include the following: 1. "The Budget." (Client appeals to a third party who has control of the money, in this way making their discretion absolute.) You take it or leave it. 2. "Time and materials." You estimate how much you need to make to cover your costs and make a profit. The client take it or leaves it. 3. "All Things Considered." You balance the valuation across a range of considerations, such as a big brand that gives you cred for attracting other clients vs a no-name, the ease or difficulty of dealing with the client (personalities, location, quality of brief, number of revisions, creative freedom vs following the formula from head office, the volume of the work and its regularity, etc.)

Do you charge different clients different amounts or do you charge everyone the same rate?

Get the picture?

Cheers!

Michael

PS. You are more likely to quote too low than too high.

PPS. People will only value you as much as you value yourself.

PPPS. Why not suggest to your boss that he make an offer? If you post the first bid, you are likely to lowball. It is your boss's notion of your value that will be decisive. (IE. the customer is always right.)

Secret ways to show you don't care

Here are 3 ways to tell you customers you don't care:

BODY LANGUAGE MESSAGE 1: Some bloody Yank called Sol sold me a mobile phone less that 2 years ago and I can't get accessories for it. Sol's stores have unkind people with stupid smiles that make insulting remarks such as, "Geez, I haven't seen one like that for years."

BODY LANGUAGE MESSAGE 2: Why do the mobile phone makers refuse to standardise chargers? Who does it benefit to have to search through racks of chargers looking for your exact match? Certainly not the makers. They don't manufacture the chargers.

BODY LANGUAGE MESSAGE 3: How does the buyer feel when they get to the end of an electronic order form online, only to see a field tagged "Promotion Coupon". They think: "Hold on. I'm paying full whack here. There's some discount I'm missing out on..."

You can find these little messages you send when you look for them. Audit your interface by looking through the eyes of your customer. It is a skill. And don't just switch to 'customer vision' occasionally. Leave it on.

Cheers!

MK

Kath & Kim: Product Placement Gives Itself An Uppercut

Hi,

If Kel Knight, Purveyor of Fine Meats of Fountain Gate Shopping Centre and power-walking husband on Kath Day-Knight, uses a Blackberry obsessively, what does it say about that brand? What does it say about Hyatt Coolum if style-challenged Kath aspires to it? "Kath & Kim" have made product placement an art form since moving from the ABC to Channel 7. Product placement has grown into a US$10bn industry in the US. Australia comes in at No.3 in the world. It is supposed to be the way to reach ad-avoiders. It's also supposed to be better than an ad. It is, say researchers, if the context is congruous (fits the brand's positioning). If not, it's just a joke.

Cheers!

Michael

Consistency is over-rated

Hi,

Why is John Howard such a master of political marketing? Because he understands his market. He changes with it. Get ready for the biggest display of a leopard changing its spots. Howard's conversion to Reconciliation is just the start. Is it? Look out for "Republican John", "Kyoto John", and "Out of Iraq John". Consumer research in the 1990s found that voters like a politician who will abandon a position and 'flip flop' to a more popular position. Instead of doubting their sincerity, they welcome their flexibility. So forget the polls. The PM has many flips to flop.

Cheers!

MK

Qantas: Greenwashing climate change scam?

Hi,

Flying Geoff's airline. Noticed signs inviting me to give Qantas some more money to relieve my conscience about destroying the planet by flying in one of their polluting planes. They'll buy a tree for me. Hold on! The passenger is paying for the CO2 the airline emits?

That's not how it is supposed to be. Whose carbon footprint is it?

The official line: "At Qantas we are concerned about the issue of climate change and are committed to ...blahblahblah...We are pleased to offer you the opportunity to join us in reducing the ...blahblahblah... From now on, you can choose to fly carbon neutral by offsetting your own share of flight emissions with just a small contribution."

Now here's the sting: Qantas gets all the glory for reducing emissions, and the poor, suffering passenger gets to pay for it. But under Kyoto, those emissions aren't calculated as part of the passengers' footprint. They are part of the airline's footprint.

So, while other companies buy carbon credits to offset their emissions, Qantas kindly makes it an 'opportunity' for passengers (who already had the option through anyone of half a dozen sites online.

“This is a great achievement for the Qantas Group and for travellers," enthused the Minister for Climate Change, Malcolm Turnbull. To add tragedy to the comedy, Qantas staged a piece of corporate theatre: "To launch this initiative, the Qantas Group will offset all travel with Qantas and Jetstar worldwide tomorrow on FlyCarbon Neutral Day," said the Minister.

One day! Qantas will be carbon neutral for only a single day. Did you get the impression that it had made flying 'carbon neutral'?

Well it hasn't. Qantas is offsetting the travel of its own staff. That's it. Less than 1% of seats will be offset by the airline. The rest is up to the passenger.

Look like the Police

I saw it today on New Line Road and I thought it was a Chaser stunt. One of those mobile pinlight signs the police or traffic authorities park along the road saying things like "SPeed Zones Enforced" and "Slow Down". But this one had on its changing message: "BONUS OFFER" and "Special on Clearing Blocked Drains" and it gave the name of a local plumber. Stood out like dogs. How did he get away with it?

(Thought: why not buy one or a 1000 of them and run them as a media network?)

MK

PS> I do have thoughts everyday - but not all of them are worthy of posting. Hence 'thoughtless days' are simply less is more. I don't wanna blow up the uninflatable simply to get a post a day.

PPS> Chaser stunts. Think about it.

Commercial radio: how low can you go?

You can always count on commercial radio to debase public taste when there is a buck to be made. This ad is a stunning display of the 'bottom feeder' mentality of the industry: The listener/consumer/customer is presented as a "mature MILF"- with chicken's feet hands - clinging to a 'toy boy'. You, the advertiser, are invited to join him in separating our Baby Boomer MILF (look it up) from her money. No big deal, except that the Commercial Radio Industry is dogged by an image among advertisers of being less than elegant... tin pan alley, uncool, cheap. Why? Because it is all those things - from the bottom to the top. Breakfast crews strive to 'out gross' their competitors with stunts. It's official that commentators like Jones and Laws can be bribed to change their comments. To read the eulogies for Stan Zamanek, you'd think he was a decent human being when in fact he was a man who spread hatred and racial division. He had all the poison of a Jones, without the intelligence or the vocabulary. His tirades were aural sewerage. And so, he was a star of commercial radio. The commercial radio industry is a perfect example of a brand defining itself by its actions. The result: how many big brands use it? Name two. Look at this ad: would you spend money with the cool dudes who fell about laughing when the agency presented this 'big idea'? No? If I want manure, I'll buy a horse.

China threatens brands and consumers

China is bad for brands and threatens consumer safety. Why did Mattel executives grovel to the Chinese for damage done to the reputation of Chinese-made goods by its recall of millions of toys for safety reasons? The company now says it was its fault – a design problem. Don’t believe it.

Mattel generates much of its profit in China. So it is allowing the Chinese Government to rewrite the rules of product safety.

Mattel now says that it recalled too many products. It agreed with the Li Changjiang, head of China's product quality watchdog: "you cannot recall 10,000 products just because one is sub-standard". Yes you do. This is in fact gold standard product safety practice in the free world. Find a piece of glass in one jar; recall the lot.
What we are seeing is the dark side of dealing with China – people, brands, companies, nobody has rights in China. Everyone must bow down to the State. China is today still the same totalitarian dictatorship that it was under Mao Tse Tung. All that has changed is the “Open For Business” sign it has hung out.

Mattel clearly learned this lesson fast. So, if Mattel’s line is right, the makers of the tyres and toothpastes that were recalled also made ‘design faults’. Can food importers have design faults?

The language of the Mattel apology mimics that of “self criticism” speeches the victims of Chinese Communist regimes were forced to make to howling crowds just before they were dragged out and shot. (China today executes more of its citizens than any other nation on earth.)

So, when the rest of the world – chasing a buck – made China its manufacturing plant, it also outsourced control of customer safety and a bunch of other things, like massive pollution, sweatshop conditions for employees, and ultimately the reputations of its brands.

History tells us that China will not rise to meet our standards. We must descend to hers. The Chinese threat to the capitalist system is greater now than it ever was under Mao.

Increase your response 1000%

Hi,

Jiffy Lube increased response to a newspaper insert in the USA by offering to 'neutralise' the carbon emitted by the customer's vehicle over the period until the next scheduled service. It buys carbon credits for a few dollars (and probably include the cost in the bill). The psychological effect of a small gesture, at a certain time in the developing climate change awareness in the USA, can be extraordinary.

Cheers!

Michael

PS. No bank story today.

A service call from the NAB

Hi,

I had a moment of mirth this morning, thanks to my ex-bank, the NAB. I still have some cards with them, but we moved the business after years of being treated like sheep.

I took a call from someone at the bank’s call centre who was ID-ing me for the cards – giving me a password, etc. Just a few questions: what is your full name? Got that one right. Date of birth: I gave it. No, that’s not what I have here, said our ‘customer service officer’. “Well I aught to know my birth date better than you would,” I said.

Then came the punch line: “Now you’ll have to go to a branch and show them your driver’s licence and we can change our records.” I was dumbstruck. For half a second. “No, I won’t be going anywhere.” (It is 38km to the nearest town where there’s a sub-branch of said bank. We live in the bush.) “It’s your stuff up. You sort it out!” CSO: “I’ll have to speak to a manager.” By this time I had abandoned the phone to my wife who has endless resources of patience with ‘customer service’ people.

The CSO eventually called our ex-branch and someone there looked up the file and bingo! If the NAB got a basic fact like DOB wrong after more than a decade of doing business with us, what other data do they get wrong? My balance?

What can we conclude about my former bank from this incident? One: it is standard practice to force customers to go to a branch to verify their details when the bank gets it wrong. The call centre operator gave me the instruction without reference to a manager. The “Go To A Branch” instruction must be written into the bank’s call centre script. Standard practice. Two: It hasn't changed.

Future looks scary for Cataloguers and Aussie Post?

The British Government has brought down the chopper on dm by introducing ‘opt in’ for unaddressed mail and allowing consumers to opt out of receiving all forms of direct mail. The reason: reducing the waste stream, reduced emissions. Other governments will follow, responding to the same public opinion that is driving Britain to dismantle the infrastructure of hard copy dm.

Both Bush and Howard misread their publics over climate change. Australians lead the world for concern about climate change*. Americans are starting to freak out.** Public opinion has swung away from the two men who refused to ratify Kyoto. They were humilated at APEC by China's refusal to join a soft touch, 'aspirational' regime against the hard core, mandatory UN Kyoto system. Now both nations can't seem to be rid of them quick enough.

*Survey conducted by The Chicago Council on Global Affairs and WorldPublicOpinion.org, includes 17 countries—China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Russia, Thailand, Ukraine, Poland, Iran, Mexico, South Korea, the Philippines, Australia, Argentina, Peru, Israel, Armenia—and the Palestinian territories. These represent more than 5% of the world population.
The largest majority in favor of measures to combat global warming is found in Australia (92%). Eighty percent of respondents in the United States—the world’s largest emitter of greenhouse gases—also support taking such measures. In five countries, the most common view is: “Global warming is a serious and pressing problem. We should begin taking steps now even if this involves significant costs.” These include: Australia (69%), Argentina (63%), Israel (54%), the United States (43%), and Armenia (37%). Overwhelming majorities in all seven countries rate improving the global environment as at least an “important” goal and majorities in all call it a “very important” one: Australia, 99 percent (very 88%); South Korea, 96 percent (very 60%); the United States 93 percent (very 54%), Armenia 86 percent (very 54%), China, 85 percent (very 54%); Thailand, 83 percent (very 61%); and India, 79 percent (very 51%).

**A new Yale research survey reveals a significant shift in public attitudes toward the environment and global warming. Fully 83 percent of Americans now say global warming is a "serious" problem, up from 70 percent in 2004. 70 percent of Americans believe that President Bush doesn't do enough for the environment and should do more.

A Letter From Julian Potter, Macquarie Bank

Greetings, Fellow Toilers in the vineyard of marketing...

My Friend Fred received a letter from Julian Potter recently. Julian is Head of Macquarie Bank Cards. It was part of a mailpiece sent to shareholders to sell them a Platinum card. I was struck dumb by Julian's words.

"Dear Frederick, There comes a time when the old way of doing things needs to be re-evaluated. When convention has to be reconsidered. That time is now and we are making it easy." (Fred thinks: "What the f*** is this about?" I tell Fred it's not Julian, it's his copywriter having a fit of hysteria nervosa.) It goes on: "Introducing the Macquarie Bank Visa Platinum Card: the new form of currency." The new form of currency? Later it is described as "a Card that takes you beyond traditional currency." And in the brochure it says it 'redefines the notion of currency'. Don't all cards do that? Traditional currency being notes and coins. At the height of the copywriter's hysteria, we are to be "inspired by the thought of being part of a currency revolution". This is embarassing. Who wrote this sh**?

There is not a scrap of evidence for any of the claims made in this most unworthy mail piece, even though they fall like confetti. It is a card that 'makes others seem distinctly old fashioned.'It 'readdresses the idea of service. Shifts perceptions of reward experiences....". As a Visa Card, it 'redefines acceptance'. I've got a Visa Card. Macquarie's card doesn't redefine anything. "Travel reimagined" Here we go: "Your Card can take you on a journey that is genuinely inspirational. A voyage that's so personal you can get on any flight at any time on any airline you choose.*" (The asterix referred us to the back of the brochure: "*Subject to availability." Hold on: I can get on any flight on any airline at any time subject to availability.)

The exclusivity of this offer is also bullshit. As the letter says: "Macquarie Bank Shareholders are among the first to be offered our new Visa Platinum Credit Card with Founding Member Status." Who else is 'among the first'? And what does "Founding Member Status" mean? We aren't told. But wait, it gets better: "If you are not eligible to apply, we would be happy for you to pass this offer on to someone you know." We don't know if you are a shareholder or not. Anyway, this offer is so exclusive, you can pass it on to anyone you like.

Now Julian, I am sure you sniffed the bullshit when your people or the creative kids in Big Budget Agency were presenting this piece of crap to you. They were hugging themselves and congratulating each other on the brilliance of the copy, none of them having ever met a Mac Bank shareholder except you... You were swept up in the group hysteria. Or you were too busy to check it. Didn't see it?

Why am I being so aggressive about this? Because I wrote sh** like this for American Express Gold Card in the dark days at Ogilvy & Mather when Amex was in decline and choking on its own bullshit. (I resigned from the account - the only person in O&M's history to have ever done so.)

I have a great respect for Mac Bank, having been given extraordinary access to the Bank's culture and inner workings. I believe they are the best of the best. They are growing quickly. They take risks and mostly they succeed. But this mailpiece is unworthy of them.

Julian, your name appears under this piece of copy. Don't let them do it to you again. Even if this campaign works, it is not fair to inflict such compost on the shareholders and the brand. The copywriter should be forced to meet with 25 shareholders before sitting down to write. They should be forced to write the letter to one of the shareholders. Only then will the copy be authentic and powerful. Double your response rate.

I was once asked to quote on a project to teach the senior managers how to judge copy and the junior managers how to write it or commission it. They didn't proceed with the project. Shame. For you, Julian.

Michael
0417 280 540

PS. This copy goes into the finals of the WORLD'S WORST COPY EVER WRITTEN. Send me your entries.

A new segment emerges

Hi,

When I was playing in a rock band I got the roadies to take all the switches off my guitar bar one - the volume control. It made no difference to the sound, in fact I found I could control the sound by pressure on the strings and the neck of the guitar. This week I bought a new camera - x12 zoom, image stabilisation, Leica lens, a gazillion pixels. But setting it up and coming to grips with the functionality will require hours of study. I need simplicity. Manufacturers don't hire simplifers, only complicators, over-engineering products to amuse themselves. What is so smart about shutting people out through technical "sophistication" (which is in reality 'crude' and 'primitive') akin to an alien language. I don't believe I am a segment of one. There is a huge market of non-geeks. The 'single switch' people like me. Compulsory geekdom is the rule. Make a motsa. Simplify. Tap the silent, suffering mass market.

Cheers!

Michael

Forgetting the basics

Hi,

I judged the NSW Young Direct Marketer of the Year this week. The case studies the four finalists presented revealed that many of the basics of dm have to be relearned by every generation. Here are some examples:

1. Test only significant things. Testing minor elements of a mailpack does not pay dividends. One charity tested the direction donation amount options are presented: high amounts first vs low amounts first. (The traditional format of low amounts first won. It is one of the eternals of charity dm.)

2. Your logo is not a compelling argument for opening an envelope. One financial services operation delivered an amazing offer to frequent flyers (250,000 miles for shifting your mortgage) with no indication of the offer on the outer envelope, just the logo of the finance provider.

3. Focus on the 'purchase cycle' of the individual for mega-ROI results. One marketer of eye wear has a database of customers which includes purchase cycle data. Instead of a 'one-size-fits-all' approach to soliciting repurchase, it is now sending offers only when the customer is coming into their preferred buying period.

4. Some lists are too small. One luxury car company sent a very expensive mail piece to 10 existing customers based on their lease expiry dates. They sold 6 cars, so big ROI. But 10 customers could be personally visited by the dealer principal or simply telephoned to get the same effect.

Cheers!

MK

Getting out of your own way

Hi,

I was waiting for my car to be serviced, so I read the super-glossy magazine published at great expense by the company for its owners.

I recognised the senior executive who 'wrote' a short 'letter' to customers. It consisted of lots of good news: sales records were being broken and the company has won an unprecedented number of awards. This is typical of corporate newsletters and customer magazines. Management cannot help themselves. They imagine the customer is the same as them: interested mainly in sales figures. Hello! They don't give a [expletive deleted] about your sales figures.... unless they are getting something out of it.

"The Inner Game of Golf" teaches that to be a great golfer you must get out of your own way. Many teachers of eastern spiritual practices say we must get out of our own way if we are to become truly enlightened. Obviously our senior manager in charge of the marketing of cars like mine needs to get out of his own way. This means become less inward focussed and self-conscious of your role and responsibilities to the company. It means becoming more outward focussed and customer driven.

Managers can't do it by nature of their roles.

Cheers!

MK

Brand disaster a blessing in disguise?

Hi,

Here is a case where a disaster achieves one of your marketing goals:

The thoroughbred racing industry is in turmoil with the Spring Racing Carnival in Sydney cancelled because of equine 'flu. But the industry has suffered for years from public and political ignorance of its size and importance, according to the industry leaders I interviewed during a brand audit for TAB Limited several years ago. Now the 'flu disaster has made the facts painfully public: the Spring Racing Carnival was expected to turnover $1billion. A study in 2001 revealed the industry was worth $8billion annually. The cost to the NSW racing industry is estimated to be around $40 million in TAB turnover for the first 72 hours of the crisis alone.

So it's a costly way to achieve a marketing objective. But it should be calculated into the equation.

Cheers!

Michael

PS. A mate of mine Malcolm Martyn emailed me to say my reference to Interflora and my dearly departed father probably started a word of mouth/viral campaign that will boost Interflora's sales! Another cloud with a silver lining?

Peter Costello to ban consumer boycotts

Peter Costello aims to ban consumer boycotts because they damage the economy.
The Trade Practices Amendment (Small Business Protection) Bill 2007 hit Parliament last week. Mr Costello said it was his "commitment to stand up for small business against thuggery and intimidation. It is vital, both for our economy and our way of life."
If a business is boycotted because it is considered ethically repugnant to buy its products, the ACCC can sue the boycott organisers to recover the company's lost profits. Mr Costello said: "Secondary boycotts can have a significant impact on our economy. They disrupt trade, they reduce output and they inhibit competition."
How many boycotts have there been lately? Why disempower consumers? Madness.

Flowers for my Dad? Nice idea, Interflora

I received this email from Interflora...

"Dear Michael

It’s time again to think of a present for Dad, and let’s face it, he probably already has a shed full of power tools!"

Flowers would be appropriate for my Dad. He's dead.

The eletter ends: "Leave it to the experts this Father’s Day – Interflora." Experts with flowers, not database marketing.

When I worked at O&M and American Express was carpet-bombing Australia with letters that started: "Frankly the American Express Card is not for everyone..." Amex was sending card offers to dead people. Elderly widows would write their pleas in shakey handwriting: "How many times must I tell you: He's DEAD! Please stop."

We had these sorry Return To Senders pinned on the kitchen notice board. I took little interest then. I know now what we were doing to people.

Cheers!

Michael

How to establish a monopoly...

Hi,

Here's how to create a legal monopoly and forget about market share battles: Genetically modified canola is designed to protect the crop from the poison Roundup (produced by agrichemical giant Monsanto) so the weeds can be sprayed out without harming the crop. Once the GM seed is introduced, every grower will use it for competitive reasons. To make their dominance something Hitler could only have wished for, Monsanto will engineer the seed to be sterile, so farmers will have to buy seed each year instead of saving some from last year to plant. Governments are urging farmers to fall in line. It's not marketing. It's world domination.

Cheers!

MK

Do you know too much about marketing?

Hi,

Can you know too much about marketing? Ted Levitt invented the term ‘marketing myopia’ in the 1970s to describe the business world's ignorance of marketing at the time. Fast forward 40 years and the same term could be used to describe a new short-sightedness, brought on by too much ‘knowledge’ of marketing. Telstra was forced to pull TV ads featuring the Dustin Hoffman about its 3G network because they were telling lies. Woolworths has pulled its own brand tissue products because the product was labelled as “sustainable”, but the Indonesian company supplying it is clearing rainforest. Woolworths had not waited for WWF to report on its audit of the supplier before publishing the lie. How can these things happen? Marketing has become too complex – too many processes and technologies. Fundamentals. Did no one at Telstra and Woolworths think to check? Strip your marketing processes down to basics. Then weed the garden regularly. Or does your success in professional marketing driven by your ability to complicate matters?

Cheers!

Michael

The 10 best things you can do to a copywriter

Hi,

After the last post, I was contacted by certiain parties who told me that you can replace the word 'copywriter' with the word 'consultant'.

Here is part 2:

.......


I have worked with some of the best clients in the advertising and marketing communications business, and some of the worst… And the best found their way to the top of the tree. (The worst wound up driving cabs...not that there's anything wrong with that....) These are 10 ways to help a copywriter make you successful.

1. Insist that the copywriter be given a complete induction to your operation, including exposure to your staff as individuals so they can absorb the corporate culture. (It proves that you understand that the copywriter will be the voice of your corporation in the marketplace.)

2. Brief the copywriter on your corporate strategy and your competitors. (It reveals that you understand that marketing communications are a key strategic activity.)
3. Spend time with your copywriter getting to know them and their capabilities. If you are not impressed, change them. (This shows that you respect the role and have high expectations.)

4. Engage the copywriter in conversations about strategy and ideas well before the time for campaigns and projects. (It reveals that you understand that the copywriter is like a barrister, trained to think strategically from your point of view.)

5. Make sure the copywriter is invited to your product releases and corporate presentations. (This says that you expect the copywriter to think without a brief, coming up with initiatives.)

6. Invite your copywriter to take part in brainstorming sessions held by staff. (This reveals your desire to extract maximum value from your copywriter.

7. When critiquing copy, identify problems under three headings: a. Factual mistakes.
b. Tone and manner. (It doesn’t sound right.) c. Personal dislikes. Address each as such. (This absolves the copywriter of responsibility for all the mistakes and proves you can be trusted not to shift the blame.)

8. Don’t suggest copy. Leave it to the copywriter to solve it. (This shows that you respect the copywriter’s professionalism and value their skills.)

9. Creative people are normally insecure. Make your copywriter feel that you trust them and like their ideas. You’ll get more effort and better ideas. They’ll work on your account in their spare time. For free. (This proves that you are one smart cookie.)

10. Give a copy of the last post on this blog to your marketing assistants and other staff who interact with the copywriter. (This proves that you get it.)

The 10 worst things to do to a copywriter

Hi,

Any half decent copywriter will tell you that the best clients – the ones who get the best work – express their respect for your professional skills by the way they treat you. And vice versa. Here are 10 things I have observed in more than 20 years working with small clients and corporate giants. I have seen the best and worst of behaviour. (Best in next post.)

1. Write sarcastic remarks on the copy. (It reveals that you are a beginner.)
2. Rewrite the copy yourself. (It reveals you are an amateur.)
3. Insist on short deadlines because you are always running late. (It reveals that you are a poor manager.)
4. Insist on short copy because you don’t like long copy yourself. (It reveals that you are ill-equipped for managing marketing communications.)
5. Neglect to supply the necessary ammunition/evidence/information to forge a sales argument, supplying it only after the first draft of the copy is submitted. (It proves you have contempt for people whose job it is to make you successful.)
6. Feel compelled to find some detail wrong with the work, turning the presentation into a ‘find the problem with the copy’ session. (It proves that you are so low on the corporate tree that you can only say “No”, not “Yes”.)
7. Neglect to inform the writer of corporate mandatories. (Ditto.)
8. Insist that your copy sound like your competitor’s copy because that’s what copy should sound like in your category. (It shows the world that you don’t get it.)
9. Neglect to give a written brief or insist that your agency develop a written brief that you sign off. It makes the copywriter play Pin The Tail On The Donkey with your copy. (It proves you don't respect the copywriter's time... or anyone else's.)
10. Demoralise the copywriter by playing “I don’t know what I want, But I’ll know what I don’t want when I see it”. (It makes people inclined to laugh about you whenever your name and the word 'strategy' are mentioned in the same sentence.)

Next: The 10 best things you can do to a copywriter

How to invade the popular mind

The girls on our farm like McLeod's Daughters. Even though it bears no resemblance to life on the land round here... But the real world occasionally invades the show... and here is an opportunity for you and your brand/cause/message to make an appearance on a high rating soap (surely the best way to invade the popular mind). Two incidents on the show reveal this opportunity: The ALP's message about Workplace Agreements smacked the Government in the face when young mechanic Patrick Brewer was given a take-it-or-leave-it ulitmatum on a reduction of wages and increase in hours. "You can't do that!" said his girlfriend to the nasty boss. "Yes I can. It's the Law" said the nasty boss. Bullseye. Heartburn for the PM. The second example is the story about building 'leaky weirs' in eroding gullies to encourage vegetation growth after a drought and the issue of letting weeds grow because they have a job to do with the soil. This is a difficult concept for people to get their heads around - it is the theory promoted by my friend and colleague Peter Andrews (he was the subject of the first ABC Australian Story). The fastest way to make a concept popular is to simplify it and incorporate it in a popular story... as has happened. Parables.
How can you get a starring role for your concept/product/brand? Simple. Watch the show you think would be best fit. Observe how the themes are developed. Then send a briefing package to the show's producers and scriptwriters. (They're easy enough to find.) And they are always looking for new story ideas.

Cheers!

Michael

Your slip is showing?

It pays to be careful with descriptors and names that aim to shape your brand to address a weakness. They are a dead giveaway. McDonald's has "Healthier Choices", Marlboro has "Lights", John Howard has "Trust", as in "Who do you trust?" In each case the qualifier reveals a truth about the product that the product's owner would prefer we forgot.

Former Bostonian Mike Connor writes: "Ever since I came to Oz, I have been mystified by the phrase "Proudly Australian". Does this imply every other Australian business (or those who don't have this sign) are an un-proud Australian. Why are there un-proud Australians? This is the wrong message. We should be saying Buy Australian. James Brown's song "I'm Black and I'm Proud" was aimed at lifting the self image of the black community. Do we in Australia have a self image problem? In the US when Japan was producing better cars, the phrase used was Buy American. The phrase "Proudly American" was redundant. Until Bush became President, every American was a proud American."

James picks the weak link

Re our last item on a viral customer revolt against olil prioces, James Schloeffel send us this:

Hi Michael,

I've seen that email a few times over the past couple of years. It has failed to lower the price of petrol because it is based on flawed logic. Boycotting a major oil company and buying your petrol somewhere else simply shifts demand, it doesn't lower it. And if demand doesn't change, neither does the price.

To use an example, if everyone was to boycott Shell and buy their petrol from another Major or from independent outlets, the Shell stations would respond by dropping their price. But as soon as Shell prices dropped by just 1c below the average market price, bargain hunters would be attracted to Shell, buy petrol there and the prices would immediately go up again. All the other non-Shell stations, encouraged by the extra demand at their outlets would actually raise their prices (at least until Shell moved prices back to original levels). So while a few lucky bargain hunters may get a slightly lower price, the overall effect is nil.

The only real way consumers can affect the price of oil is to stop buying the stuff altogether.

Cheers,
James


James Schloeffel
Retail Marketing Manager
STA Travel

Viral consumer revolt?

I got a chain email today which could spell doom for the oil companies. It predicts that petrol will hit $1.70 this summer. The oil companies are untouchable. They can charge whatever they like. They keep moving the price around to keep our minds off the rise in average prices. Well someone has had enough and has devised a way for consumers to fight back. The plan is to get as many consumers as possible to boycott the majors and start a price war as they try to win us back. How do you organise a consumer boycott these days? Use viral marketing vias the Net. The originator of the email sent it to 30 friends. He asked them to send it on to 10 friends. In only 5 successions, it will have reached 3 million consumers. Now of course many won't send it on. But it has been through 12 successions to get to me. Boycott BP and Shell, it says. I'd throw in Caltex for good measure. WIll it work? Let's wait and see.

PS.Until I work out how to embed the powerpoint document in this blog, you'll have to email me for a copy if you want to pass it on.

Email me on michael@michaelkielymarketing.com.au or call (02) 6374 0329

Obey The Basics and see the future

Marketers need to be able to predict the future. The future is hard to see. But the basics always dictate the outcome.

The basics sometimes get lost in the peripheral noise of the media. But the basics always win.

EG. Elton John calls for the Internet to be shut down to stop the cult of the amateur recording artist. Basics: democratising technology always tips elites out of their thrones. Bad luck, Elton.

EG. Murdoch buys the Wall Street Journal. Will it lose its editorial independence? Has Murdoch ever allowed any of his newspapers their independence? Basics: No. Buddha says Dogs have dog nature.

EG. British Airways fined $600million for collusion on prices with competitor Virgin Airways. Virgin gained immunity by confessing. Basics: Never trust a competitor that you have humiliated and attempted to destroy.

Appealling to "Visuals" and "Verbals"

Hi,

Learning experts tell us we each have a favoured communications format: words, images, sounds... Not everyone likes reading copy. This is why most popular publications (like supermarket magz) are heavy on photos and light on words. You appeal to more readers when you favour visuals to carry the message. In advertising and marketing collateral, use flow charts, bar charts, illustrations, etc. whenever you can. Especially when you have a 'concept' for readers to understand. And for the "Verbals", those among us who prefer to receive their information through the ear, you can offer podcasts or CD presentations.

The guiding principle should be this: give people as many channels to access your message as possible. (Just as you should give people as many ways to buy your product as possible...)

Cheers!

Michael

How to cater for many audiences in one communication

Hi there,

There is a simple way to make your online or printed information 'available' to different audiences. Namely the 'very interested' and the 'browser'. The very interested need only to be flagged down by a functional headline to get them into the text. They have a burning desire to learn all they can about your subject. The browsers will scan the page in a second, then move on. These readers need 'hooks' to get them in to the text. Hooks include: 1. Intriguing images with powerful captions that dramatise what is going on in the picture. 2. The most dramatic sentence or sentence fragment in the text highlighted in a special panel. 3. Bullet-pointed summaries of the content in boxes. It is important to use hooks because the 'browsers' represent far greater numbers than the 'very interested'.

Tomorrow: Appealing to different communication styles

Cheers!

Michael

The speaker's secret

Ever find yourself trapped into 'saying a few words' at an event when you had no warning and no time to prepare anything? Here's a simple formula that I learned from Dale Carnegie:

1. Start with a story that is vaguely connected to what you think you can talk about. You can think about the next step while telling the story because you only need a small portion of your brain to tell a familiar story. People love a story. It is a concrete something they can grasp easily.

2. Cast your mind about for a general principal you can derive from the story. Start drawing the general principle while you think of the close.

3. Your close should be a call to action, based on the general principle. Finish.

MY EXAMPLE:

It's funny how we develop little rituals in our lives. For instance, if you've ever been self-employed then you'll know that you spend most of your time overloaded with things to do. But more than twice or thrice in my career as a self-employed copywriter and strategist I found myself paralysed by fear because the work seemed to dry up. I just sit there staring at the wall waiting for the phone to ring... etc. (Dramatic detail omitted)

Eventually fear of the consequences of not doing something about it overcame my fear of doing something about it. Instead of staring at the phone, I picked it up and started calling people who had given me work in the past. And by the end of the morning I was overloaded.

Strange how ever two or three years I had to go through the same ritual to relearn the same old lesson: phone sotps ringing, stare at phone and fret, fret furiously, finally pick up phone, all's well again.

I wonder do you have a similar ritual in your life? Wouldn't it be better if we made a habit of picking up the phone regularly instaed of waiting until it stops ringing?

The End

The UTube Generation send stars stumbling

Beyonce pleads with her fans not to post footage of her falling face first down stairs on Utube. Yeah, Right. John Howard might have started a new craze.The original President Bush not only fell down but he threw up in the Japanese Prime Minister's lap. On video. Except in George's day it wasn't played over and over and over... Today's generation like their stars to be flash... and flakey.... like Posh. All front... and leave the backdoor open. They like stars to stumble into their hearts. What's a star without a 'tragic secret'. Nichole and Keith Urban's fairytale romance was complete when he went into rehab.

At last! The Zen of Marketing Revealed

Psychologist Jacques Lacan believes that, at our core, 'we are desire, we are bundles of wanting wants. But at the heart of this, what we most desire is to maintain the pleasurable tension of desire itself (which is ego’s wanting to continue to exist, since its own existence is predicated upon desire).'* AMAZING! That's what the Dalai Lama says. 'We learn at a very young age that we are disappointed when we are fulfilled. And so what we most want is to keep right on wanting. It explains a lot about consumer society and the contemporary self, where people seem to get so much and yet want so much more, to never be fulfilled but to always be seeking.' says Robert Kozinets on Brandthroposophy.

The ego's desire to exist seperately from the rest of the universe (which is an illusion - the ego is fooling itself) runs counter to the spirit's instinct to seek 'Oneness'. Therefore the essence of marketing is hostile to spiritual awareness.

BUT HOLD ON? Doesn't Deppak Chopra create desire for his latest book, tour or course? Isn't the Mind Body Spirit movement a marketing machine, selling crystals, angel cards, and mantras? What does the Dalai Lama say to that?


*The words are Robert Kozinets's.

What can we learn from Harry Potter’s marketing?

JK Rowling is the first person to become a US-dollar billionaire by writing books. She’s the second richest female entertainer in the world. She has sold 300million copies of her books.

The “Teaser” marketing campaign features heavy security to protect a ‘secret’ in the book getting out before everyone has a chance to get their hands on a copy. This, and media management eg. the title being announced six months before the launch, make the campaign worthy of PT Barnum’s stunts. Treat the product as a common property, shared with the reader. A precious shared enthusiasm.

JK Rowling and her publishers didn’t plan it that way. They simply fanned the flames that started by spontaneous combustion. The strict embargo, for instance, wasn’t used until 1999, for the third book. Fearing children would wag school to queue up for their copy, the author mandated that the book not be available for sale until 3.45pm.

Could you start a Harry Potter strategy with a blank sheet of paper? Viral marketing, word of mouth marketing, buzz marketing… it’s possible. But it’s easier when you start with a fan base and a charismatic product.

Use the power of words to dislodge blockages

A rose by another name …

Simple solution to a sales problem: rename the category. Or invent a new category name. Many consumers in Victoria want to buy unpasturised milk. They are organic food folk, who believe the processing of food robs it of its goodness. But the government forbids unpasturised milk being consumed (except by dairy farmers) because of some medieval rule about health. Well, now you can buy unpasturised milk in bottles, but the difference is the name. It’s called “bathing milk” and it is officially intended for beauty baths (a la Cleopatra).

Political Marketing: Howard's UTube Booboo

The Medium was not the message when John Winston Howard appeared on UTube this week. Nothing could make the PM look or sound hip to a younger audience. A hip medium doesn't make unhip content hip. (Hip = cool)

The PM delivered an old technology production on a new technology platform. That's where newsreaders on television came from: radio. And early radio was like newspaper reports read out.

The other guy, Rudd, his glasses look 21st century at least, but he's equally as charismatic at the PM.

10 point gap won't close? Need a Tampa, a terrorist attack, a bold plan to let everyone's favourite team win the grand final, a rabbit in every hat, and somewhere else in the world where we can send our soldiers to shoot at people who wear funny clothes.

The secret to success for the PM is this: hold your fire. People aren't really listening. It's not the last minute yet.

Do people understand your copy?

I was amazed years ago when I discovered that there is a formula for testing copy for how hard it is to understand (its level of comprehension difficulty). The Gunning fog index measures the readability of a sample of copy. The resulting number is the number of years of formal education that a person requires to easily understand the text on the first reading. If the copy has a fog index of 12, it has the reading level of a U.S. high school senior. Texts that are designed for a wide audience need a fog index of less than 12.

The Gunning fog index can be calculated in the following way:
Take a sample of around 100 words.Count the number of sentences. Divide the number of words by the number of sentences to find the average sentence length.
Count words with three or more syllables, excluding names, compound words, or common suffixes such as -es, -ed, or -ing.
Calculate the percentage of complex words.
Add the average sentence length and the percentage of complex words.
Multiply the result by 0.4.
Less than 12 and the average reader would have no problem with it.

Time Magazine rates 11.
Readers' Digest rates 9.

WHat does you copy rate?

The principles of easy-to-understand copy are these: Short sentences. Simple words.

People want MORE

A t-shirt for the times: I want MORE

And on the back: NO, MUCH MORE THAN THAT

Has anyone thought of putting out a line of t-shirts with "No Logo" on the front?

Naomi Klein's book "No Logo: Taking Aim at the Brand Bullies" was an anti-capitalist tome. Would she claim the intellectiual property?

How about a t-shirt with this: LOVE™

Could a clever copywriter make a living targetting geodemographics with appropriate tshirt slogans?

COPYSCHOOL IS IN

People like to feel empowered.

Found in the Readers' DIgest: an ad HEADLINE: "Updating your will? Include a charity. You have a chance to shape the future"

Here is a line from a TVC is co-wrote in the dim dark past:

"Imagine changing a child's life from poverty and despair to health and happiness with only one phone call and $12 a month. You can..."

Sounds slick, but it worked. Broke all records. Everyone else started using it.

Always try an empowerment angle when you are working on copy.

MK

When you've got nothing to say, sing it (whle you dance)

OK, ADSCHOOL IS IN

(COPYSCHOOL FOLLOWS)

"When you've got nothing to say, sing it" is an old truism in the ad industry. It goes double when you employ a dance troupe for your tvc.Every decade or so we get a wave of them. The latest crop include the Tooheys Beer with the street party with inflatable figures waving their arms to help hijack the beer truck. The Smiths Crisps tvc with the members of the CEFMU taking an unscheduled break to single "Happy Together" while dacing to express their joy. It started with that Carlton ad with the boy who had obviously too many beers dancing in tights to express his joy and desire to work in a brewery.

What does this trend mean? Simple. The creative team decided the was nothing to say about the product. Nothing. Product parity. The client has agreed with them. So let's just use media weight to pummel the consumer into submission.

Dancers are always a dead giveaway. All those hand and arm movements to distract you from the boring old product hiding behind the flailing arms.

What does this make the marketing team? Can't use strategy to differentiate the product? Hire some entertainers.

MK

OK COPYSCHOOL IS IN

My Dad started a family tradition - gave us a saying we still use. "This is all about me!" he said as he showed us his x-rays after his heart operation. (Ugh!) Dad was a "This is all about me!" kinda guy. So am I. So is our whole family. So is everyone in consumer society (except the Dalai Lama).

Let's talk Voicing. I want you to look at the copy you use to convince customers to do business with you. I want you to go through the copy and count the number of times you use the word "you" or "your". Then count the number of times you say "I", "we", "company name", "product name" or "product feature".
Is the ratio 1:1? 1:2? 1:3?

Are you talking about the prospect or yourself? Who is the prospect more interested in? Sorry. They don't really give a damn about you or your product or your company until it becomes something about them. Can the reader say "This is all about me!" when they read your copy?

Does your brand have fans?

McDonald's campaign to"involve consumers in marketing" by asking customers to help it name a new burger is a synthetic version of a campaign run by SNapple in the 1980s. The difference between the campaigns is that Snapple had a huge, self-generated community of active custosmers who were spontaneously send it suggestions for products and names, as well as hundreds of thousands of letters, photos, poems, videos, etc. about their favourite fruit juice. McDonald's is a synthetic version of the real thing (spontaneous consumer community). Maccas ads will feature a fictional character who is retiring after 30 years naming products for the fast food giant. Compare this to SNapple's real mailroom lady Wendy. She was featured in the brand's advertising, reading out letters and showing photos and videos from fans. That's right - fans. "If you have a strong relationship with your customers then you can give them a chance to interact with your brand to give them some input," says Macca's McMarketing McManager. Snapple's fans needed no encouragement to engage with the brand. Maccas needs a promotion: WIN a Sony home entertainment package. WHen you need to bribe customers to demonstrate engagement, you don't have 'fandom'. You have people who buy your products sometimes, who want a home entertainment package. How do you get fans? You express your brand's authenticity so that its charisma can generate genuine devotion. When your brand is synthetic, you have to use artificial means of generating 'excitement', like greed. The difference is fans buy into the values of the brand; pseudo-fans are bought.

MK

COPY SCHOOL IS IN

I'M GOING TO DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO SOME HOT SPOTS IN THIS CLASSIC AD (COMMENTS IN CAPS)



[FIRST LOOK AT THE STORY SET UP. IRRESISTABLE 'WHAT'S GOING ON HERE' MATERIAL]

[Headline]

They Laughed When I Sat Down At the Piano But When I Started to Play! --

[Caption]

"Can he really play?" a girl whispered. "Heavens no!" Arthur exclaimed. "He never played a note in his life."

[Body Copy]

Arthur had just played "The Rosary." The room rang with applause. I decided that this would be a dramatic moment for me to make my debut. To the amazement of all my friends, I strode confidently over to the piano and sat down.

"Jack is up to his old tricks," somebody chuckled. The crowd laughed. They were all certain that I couldn't play a single note.

"Can he really play?" I heard a girl whisper to Arthur.

"Heavens, no!" Arthur exclaimed "He never played a note in all his life... But just you watch him. This is going to be good."

[FEEL THE TENSION BUILDING]

I decided to make the most of the situation. With mock dignity I drew out a silk handkerchief and lightly dusted off the piano keys. Then I rose and gave the revolving piano stool a quarter of a turn, just as I had seen an imitator of Paderewski do in a vaudeville sketch.

[LOOK AT HIS USE OF SEEMINGLY IRRELEVANT DETAIL TO BRING THE STORY ALIVE]

"What do you think of his execution?" called a voice from the rear.

"We're in favor of it!" came back the answer, and the crowd rocked with laughter.

[Subhead]

Then I Started to Play

[Body Copy]

Instantly a tense silence fell on the guests. The laughter died on their lips as if by magic. I played through the first few bars of Beethoven's immortal Moonlight Sonata. I heard gasps of amazement. My friends sat breathless -- spellbound!

I played on and as I played I forgot the people around me. I forgot the hour, the place, the breathless listeners. The little world I lived in seemed to fade -- seemed to grow dim -- unreal. Only the music was real. Only the music and visions it brought me. Visions as beautiful and as changing as the wind blown clouds and drifting moonlight that long ago inspired the master composer. It seemed as if the master musician himself were speaking to me -- speaking through the medium of music -- not in words but in chords. Not in sentences but in exquisite melodies!

[THIS IS A DRAMATISATION OF THE FIRST BENEFIT OF THE PRODUCT - PERSONAL ENJOYMENT]

[Subhead]

A Complete Triumph!

[Body Copy]

As the last notes of the Moonlight Sonata died away, the room resounded with a sudden roar of applause. I found myself surrounded by excited faces. How my friends carried on! Men shook my hand -- wildly congratulated me -- pounded me on the back in their enthusiasm! Everybody was exclaiming with delight -- plying me with rapid questions... "Jack! Why didn't you tell us you could play like that?"... "Where did you learn?" -- "How long have you studied?" -- "Who was your teacher?"

[THIS IS THE ECOND BENEFIT FEATURED; SOCIAL SUCCESS, MASLOW'S 2ND HIGHEST NEED - SELF ESTEEM]

"I have never even seen my teacher," I replied. "And just a short while ago I couldn't play a note."

"Quit your kidding," laughed Arthur, himself an accomplished pianist. "You've been studying for years. I can tell."

"I have been studying only a short while," I insisted. "I decided to keep it a secret so that I could surprise all you folks."

Then I told them the whole story.

"Have you ever heard of the U.S. School of Music?" I asked.

A few of my friends nodded. "That's a correspondence school, isn't it?" they exclaimed.

"Exactly," I replied. "They have a new simplified method that can teach you to play any instrument by mail in just a few months."

[NOW WATCH HOW HE CARRIES THE FEATURES OF THE PRODUCT INTO THE STORY]

[Subhead]

How I Learned to Play Without a Teacher

[Body Copy]

And then I explained how for years I had longed to play the piano.

[NOTE THE USE OF A 'TESTIMONIAL' IN THE NEXT PARA]

"A few months ago," I continued, "I saw an interesting ad for the U.S. School of Music -- a new method of learning to play which only cost a few cents a day! The ad told how a woman had mastered the piano in her spare time at home -- and without a teacher! Best of all, the wonderful new method she used, required no laborious scales -- no heartless exercises -- no tiresome practising. It sounded so convincing that I filled out the coupon requesting the Free Demonstration Lesson.

[THE OFFER: A FREE BOOK, A PRODUCT SAMPLE]

"The free book arrived promptly and I started in that very night to study the Demonstration Lesson. I was amazed to see how easy it was to play this new way. Then I sent for the course.

"When the course arrived I found it was just as the ad said -- as easy as A.B.C.! And, as the lessons continued they got easier and easier. Before I knew it I was playing all the pieces I liked best. Nothing stopped me. I could play ballads or classical numbers or jazz, all with equal ease! And I never did have any special talent for music!"

[HERE IS THE FUNDAMENTAL BENEFIT AND MASLOW'S HIGHEST NEED: SELF TRANSFORMATION OR 'SELF ACTUALISATION']

[Subhead]

Play Any Instrument

[Body Copy]

You too, can now teach yourself to be an accomplished musician -- right at home -- in half the usual time. You can't go wrong with this simple new method which has already shown 350,000 people how to play their favorite instruments. Forget the old-fashioned idea that you need special "talent." Just read the list of instruments in the panel, decide which one you want to play and the U.S. School will do the rest. And bear in mind no matter which instrument you choose, the cost in each case will be the same -- just a few cents a day. No matter whether you are a mere beginner or already a good performer, you will be interested in learning about this new and wonderful method.

[Subhead]

Send for Our Free Booklet and Demonstration Lesson

[Body Copy]

Thousands of successful students never dreamed they possessed musical ability until it was revealed to them by a remarkable "Musical Ability Test" which we send entirely without cost with our interesting free booklet.

[CALL TO ACTION WITH SENSE OF URGENCY DEVICE - 'LIMITED NUMBER']

If you are in earnest about wanting to play your favorite instrument -- if you really want to gain happiness and increase your popularity -- send at once for the free booklet and Demonstration Lesson. No cost -- no obligation. Right now we are making a Special offer for a limited number of new students. Sign and send the convenient coupon now -- before it's too late to gain the benefits of this offer. Instruments supplied when needed, cash or credit. U.S. School of Music, 1031 Brunswick Bldg., New York City

[ALL THESE STRUCTURES ARE STANDARD DIRECT MAIL TECHNIQUES, WOVEN INTO A PERFECTLY-CRAFTED STORY]


[RETURNING TO UPPER AND LOWER CASE now. Don't be fooled by the old fashioned illustration and quaint storyline. They are merely fashions of the time. Newspapers didn't have many photos in them in those days. Illustrations were the go. Would a modern version of thsi work? Darn tootin'! Set the spread out like a page from "That's Life" magazine, tell someone's story with drama and structure... And sit back and count the hits/calls/sms messages/coupons... (Maybe not coupons. But why not...)

"Does your website suck?"

What do Australia's best copywriters think is good copy? I Googled "copywriting services australia" and looked at the headlines used by those copywriters who chose to advertise on this page.

I'll pas judgement on them, then contact the writer to see if their ad is working for them...

Let's look at the copy:

Does your website suck?
Compelling copy can make all
the difference to your bottom line.
www.TinaWrites.com

(Tina, it sucks but I don't want you to remind me. Make me feel better, not worse.)

Need a writer in a hurry?
Urgent deadlines? No problem.
David Said, Writing Freelance.
writingfreelance.com.au

(David, You can't project an image of quality if you focus on speed.)

Corporate Video Experts
Promotional, advertising, event &
training videos. Rural expertise.
anvilmedia.com.au

(WHat are you guys doing here?)

Expensive Copywriting
We get high fees & are still booked
solid. See samples/results.
www.ProfitBoostersCopy.com

(I like this reverse approach.)

Copywriting Services
Professional copywriting services.
Brochures, newsletters, print ads.
www.actionwords.com.au

(Hohum)

Business Writing
Total copywriting service. Direct
mail, ads, brochures - anything!
www.wellsaid.net.au
New South Wales

(Well said)

Copywriter That Sells
"Give Me a Chance to Send You This
Free Report and I'll Prove It"
www.CopyWritingThatSells.com.au

(Classic offer approach)

Copywriting Magic
Highly trained copywriter
gets mega-results for your business
www.overnight-copy.com

(Nice use of promise)

The winner: "Expensive copy." Gutsy. CLever. That's what I want.

Made In China? Look out!

The brand "Made in China" is taking a belting in its overseas markets. Their exported manufactured goods are getting press like this in the US:

"HOMELAND INSECURITY
Is China trying to poison Americans and their pets?
U.S. market flooded with foods unfit for humans, tainted with carcinogens, pesticides, bacteria, drugs..." The Government official who took bribes to allow the manufacture of pharmaceuticals that killed people has been sentenced to death. Children's toys are being recalled at unprecedented rates.

If your product is manufactured in China, does location feature in your risk management strategy?

COPY SCHOOL IS IN

Let's 'voice' this email I received recently. Read it and listen to the voice of
Xanthe Comino from Boolarong Press:

"10th July 2007

Dear Sir/Madam,

Attached is some information regarding our new range of books, which will
help you to write a diverse array of genres from comedy to science fiction.

To purchase on line visit our website www.boolarongpress.com.au or to order
over the phone call us on 07 3373 7855.

Regards,

Xanthe Comino
General Manager
Boolarong Press
Established 1978
v +61 7 3373 7855
f +61 7 3373 8611

e mail@boolarongpress.com.au
w www.boolarongpress.com.au"


OK, HOW DOES IT SOUND TO YOU?

To me it doesn't sound like a person. It sounds like a machine. Would a person say this to me? If Xanthe had imagined we were having a telephone conversation, she'd have had a better result.

Other defects (areas for improvement)? PICK THE OTHER FLAWS IN THIS EMAIL AND TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE AND WHY VIA COMMENTS BELOW

More hidden costs that sap marketing ROI

Continuing our series of tips, hints, and whatdidyoudothatfor's on the real cost of doing business, we have our fifth set of unspoken money-losing marketing misdemeanours:

The misallocation of internal marketing management resources when there is a…

… failure to delegate/outsource non-management functions

… failure to outsource high level strategic planning

… failure to use the skills of marketing staff

… failure to adequately fund the marketing function


These may sound controversial, so let me explain. There are four basic functions of the internal marketing function: 1. Overseeing the planning process 2. Planning the execution/implementation of the marketing plan. 3. Delegating responsibilities for implementation. 4. Managing the people who you are reporting to and who report to you.
`
I have not met a truly great marketing manager who was a truly great strategic planner. The truly great manager brings in expertise and manages it to get the best plan. As for other marketing staff, they are often treated as messengers or personal assistants when they should be given challenges to drag out of them high levels of performance. And companies that appoint a marketing manager and don’t give them a budget equal to the job to be done are better off without their marketing manager.

In all these cases the organization is not getting full value from its investment in marketing, and could in fact be posting a significant loss on an internal cost accounting basis.

COPYSCHOOL IS IN

A lot to digest in last post, so I'll leave you to go on digesting with these three thoughts:

1. Have you ever read a contemporary ad that spent so much time romancing the story? Listen to the way he builds in the tiniest detail. Modern copywriters rush to the end of the copy, scattering a few features and maybe a benefit or two in their wake.

2. Note the Caption to the image: The girl's remark is the fulcrum of the drama in the situation. And, as we know the majority of readers will look at the image, maybe then the headline, and maybe then the caption to the image (to find out 'what's going on here?'), this is the bnest way to pull them into the story.

3. There is a story. It's in a newspaper. Newspapers are bought by people who want to read stories.

Read it again and listen to the voices.