Aliens abducted me and made me watch TV

While I was held hostage by aliens in a space ship orbiting Earth for the last little while, they let me watch TV. I saw the tragic treatment the Victorian Racing Authorities handed out to the sponsors of the races during the Melbourne Cup Carnival. They let the CEOs of the sponsors take as long as they needed to convince TV viewers at home that their company was being run by a brain dead automoton. The Racing people knew no-one was watching except we alien abduction victims. And I'll bet it was music to the ears of the sales person sent to sell the sponsorships. On Melbourne Cup Day, the only CEO who should have been let loose near a camera was the guy from the coffee brand: Lavattza? He spoke intelligently. The rest? Was there not a single advisor to tell the EMPEROR he was' naked? If you are a marketing manager or CEO and you sponsor events and they invite you to speak on camera, hire an actor to do it. You are not 1. good looking enough 2. articulate enough 3. thin enough 4. entertaining enough or 5. credible enough to be projected at people in their homes . And avoid making remarks about the event as though you're an expert. No one cares what you thought. They only want to know you gave the money and they don't care about that either. Why do it? Because you are exploiting a captive audience. And they know it. The only thought I have for a sponsor of the Melbourne Cup is for Fosters - if they had given away free beer for half an hour after the big race was run... at least they would have know someone at the track had tried the stuff... Sponsors are always wrong. TRUE. They think the sponsorship dollar is the investment. "What do I get for that?" You get into the dance hall. Now, what are you going to do to impress the punters?

PS. I once saw a company representative read out a 15 minute monologue clipped from the annual report about all the product ranges, etc. and other inappropriate stuff at an awards ceremony. The room was in a deep coma by the time it stopped. What can you do? Identify a good speaker on the team and make them the spokesperson. Deliver only appropriate information: a few good jokes, but nothing that challenges the host/emccee. Mention the company and its offering - and make a terrific offer - if appropriate. What's a terrific offer? Newsworthy.