Cows NOT GUILTY - UN

Green groups are Greenwashing when they blame cows for climate change.
Cattle are not the cause of methane increases, according to new research by the Food and Agriculture Organisation, a United Nations agency. “Since 1999 atmospheric methane concentrations have levelled off while the world population of ruminants has increased at an accelerated rate,” it reports at http://www-naweb.iaea.org/nafa/aph/stories/2008-atmospheric-methane.html
“The role of ruminants in greenhouse gases may be less significant than originally thought, with other sources and sinks playing a larger role in global methane accounting,” says the FAO.
In 2003 the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reported that the concentration of the methane in the atmosphere was leveling off at the 1999 level. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change acknowledged this in 2007, with “emissions being equivalent to removals.”
This report is a dramatic reversal of the FAO’s position in its 2006 paper called “Livestock’s Long Shadow” in which it blamed cattle for most of the greenhouse and environmental ills. This was leapt upon by vegan, vegetarian and religious groups which urged consumers to avoid meat or reduce their intake to save the planet.
Professor Aslam Khalil, at the Portland State University, in an analysis of more than 20 years of atmospheric sampling, concluded that “global emissions and the lifetime of methane in the atmosphere have been constant, so the buildup of methane in the atmosphere has been slowing for as long”. Since 1999, there has been a non significant atmospheric increase of 0.3 ppb methane/year. This contrasts with the 10.8 ppb/year for the previous time period of 1979 to 1999. “Seeing that the total source has remained constant for at least the last two decades, it is questionable whether human activities can cause methane concentrations to increase greatly in the future.”

Marketing to the Stupid

"Defy Physics" says the headline on a billboard advertising a car. "Without precedent" says another. Clearly these are lies. Last time I checked, there has been no major advance on the same old internal combustion technology that Henry Ford used in the T-Model. But regulators - like the ACCC - let them get away with it. Because the law calls it "Puffery".

"Puffery is a term used to describe wildly exaggerated, fanciful or vague claims for a product or service that nobody could possibly treat seriously, and that nobody could reasonably be misled by," says the ACCC.

So, if no one could possibly believe that a car can 'defy physics', why say it? Because there are many who do believe it. The unkind would call them "The Stupid". These people also believe in weight loss programs, poker machines and politicians' promises.

The Stupid. A new psychographic segment.

References:
"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people," said H. L. Mencken.
"There's a sucker born every minute," PT Barnum is said to have said.
"Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it," said Stephen Vizinczey.

I just bought my first PC and I hate it

I am an Mac guy. Have been since 1985 when Apple had just launched Macintosh. I introduced Macs to a multinational ad agency network in 1985, a contract worth squillions. 23 years and 15-25 Macs later (personal and family machines), I was forced to buy a PC because of this special purpose software I have to use. Apple abandoned me by not having a solution that kept me in the fold. I think PCs are shitty, third rate machines that defy logic and can't do simple things. But I am now exposed to the Dark Side - Emperor Gates's plans to dominate the world. What is the point of building loyalty if you leave your customer hanging, short of an application?

As the Globe Heats Up, Will The Consumer Go Cold?

Sitting in candle light during Earth Hour on Saturday I wondered: What options do we have for maintaining our lifestyles once the Carbon Cops have taken control? I see two potential scenarios, one of which could dramatically change the way you do business and live your life:

1. The Silver Bullet – No Change. “Clean Coal” technology is the only ace in the’s hand. If it works (it has ‘uncertainty’ written all over it) we will be able to continue burning coal for 500 years. Apart from paying more for power, nothing much would change. Plasma screens for everyone. The party goes on.

2. The Consumer Goes Cold – Disaster for Everyone. This scenario sees a major shift in consumer sentiment and a permanent change in habits. Fear and danger tighten purses. Products are no longer expected to be disposable. Instead of boasting about her new outfit, the young female consumer revels in recycled clothes and a more or less stable wardrobe. The skyrocketing price of energy robs consumers of spending power.

Can our culture of consumption change 180° in 25 years? Australians as a nation have encountered such a shift only once: World War 2*. Rationing, blackouts, empty shelves in shops... But there was no argument about the cause of the threat and the cure, and there was no consumer society. People in 1939 were not engaged in a feeding frenzy of historic proportions. No, society is likely to get gradually more restrictive with technology running to catch up.

This assumes, of course, that Cyclone Katrina’s angry cousin Katie doesn’t slam in through Sydney Heads, that the crops don’t fail and cause famine in China and that floods don’t cause Indonesia to disintegrate, sending the single largest movement of human beings in history fleeing south to our shores, as a flotilla of Tampas arrive looking for clean water and dry land. (The Pentagon, the Australian Defence Force, the Australian Federal Police, Professor Ross Garnaut, top brass in the US Military, and Senator Bill Heffernan have all raised this as a serious scenario in recent times.

The media doesn’t feature these scary thoughts. If consumers panic, they stop spending. Then marketers stop spending on advertising in the media.

We have time to change this scenario.

* While the Depression saw 30% unemployed, the wealthy and those who kept their jobs were better off because prices fell faster than wages.

The end is nigh!

The Service makes you smile in Sydney. The price might make you cringe in Auckland ($1.75 a litre.). But the loyalty scheme will make no sense at all.


This is the inevitable end of points-type and coupon-style loyalty programs. American Airlines invented the frequent flyer program and all the others followed, until everyone had one. SO no one has an advantage. Everyone has higher costs. (Including the mug customer,)

The bigger the bastard, the bigger the bastard.

Marketing student Alissa Tilla set us a cry from the heart: "Customer service is dead!" (Her email is below.) My response: Declare war.

ALISSA -

The bigger the bastard, the bigger the bastard.

MK

PS. It's the thing they don't teach you at marketing school: God is on the side of the biggest battalions. They can ignore the principles of customer-centricity and customer focus. Telstra, Qantas and McDonalds are so dominant in their markets, they can get away with anything. It is the eternal advantage of leadership. The lagging indicator is share. They gain sales from customers who hate them, who know they will dud them, and who would love to give them the finger. But inertia, fear and cynicism keeps them rusted on. To activate this hatred and turn it into share gains, challenger brands must do more than slash prices. They must build an activism, a lynch mob atmosphere, an "Aussie Home Loans" campaign (John Symonds is a genius) that is a crusade, like Branson's strategy. Belt the bastards so often you reforge their brand image, using their weakness (size and insensitivity) against them. You can speed the process by running a 'bad case study/anti-testimonial" campaign featuring heart-rending stories like Cancer Boy in "Thank You For Smoking", illustrating how brutal the big bastard is. In extreme cases, you could run some investigative probes into their operations, seeking weak spots. Always within the bounds of ethics, you can gain access to sensitive information via many avenues: eg. interview their staff for employment opportunities (many staff will reveal problems in interviews); set up a website to collect complaints from the big bastard's customers; keep an eye on corporate disclosure around issues like environmental claims, etc. Make sure your own nose is clean, though. In extremely extreme cases, a dedicated unit that trolls for bad news and disseminates it might be justified. Why not? Marketing is war. Consumers deserve more than they get. Big bastards deserve more than they get, too.

On 27/03/2008, at 9:57 PM, Alissa Tilla wrote:


Dear Michael,

I was reading a back issue of Marketing Magazine and saw your piece on bad customer service. I think customer service is dead! Recently I was served a raw chicken burger from McDonalds. The head office wiped their hands of the issue, claiming that the store needed to contact me; despite being a company owned store. One week later the manager called me; the voicemail message she left said that she was going home and would call me the following day. Another week on, and two phone calls later (from my end) I could not get in touch with this manager who was never at the store. When I finally spoke with her I was unhappy with her lack of empathy. The response from McDonalds has been underwhelming to say the least; impersonal, uncaring and not in a timely manner. To make matters worse, if I want a refund for my meal I suddenly have to deal with head office, writing a letter of demand. These organisations have become so procedural and clinical that they have lost any decency in their dealings with customers. These large organisations think they are invincible. Good on you for speaking out. It’s about time these organisations are put back in their place and remember what their main focus should be, serving the customer. In this case, I think Ronald would be very unhappy. Being a marketing student I am so aggravated by McDonald’s response. You need to continue to use your influence to make these issues public and start a revolution whereby the customer comes first!

I would love to hear back from you about what you think.

Kind Regards,

Alissa Tilla

Sales in 08? Traffic harder to get...

Getting people to your transaction area is harder than last year and won't get easier... but wait, there's help!

Fred Schebesta (online) and Dennis Price (offline) are experts on TRAFFIC. Let's hear their advice:

FRED: Traffic prices are increasing! Budgets are tighter and traffic harder to come by... that's just the beginning of the crisis.
Download your Free copy of Fred's report on:

"The Crisis in Website Traffic in Australia."

DENNIS: Storefront Statements

An entrance is an important aspect of store design and the primary rule is that an entrance should be inviting and not present a barrier to a prospective customer. This is achieved by:
1. no steps
2. good lighting,
3. wide enough,
4. no merchandise/fixtures,
5. easy access for pregnant/handicapped.
Because the front of the store is the most productive, many retailers crowd this area (aka 'trading out') to display specials, and create a 'discount' image.
Entry statements should be changed at least monthly. Retailers should not wheel out the same bins week after week after week.
The colours that are best suited for the in-store experience are not the same colours that are most attractive and visible or attention-getting at the entrance.
Entry statements must be designed with the context of adjacent tenants in mind - and this means achieving sufficient contrast to clearly delineate the retail store from its neighbour.
Entry statements should be co-ordinated with the window display. It creates a much better impact.
Designers have to do the important things right:
1. Repetition/ Rhythm
2. Framing
3. Contrast
4. Colour-blocking
5. Creating focal points
6. Clever iconography
7. Functionality (security, durability of materials etc.)
8. Layout, design and visual merchandising are the most effective, most productive, 24/7 sales tools available to a retailer - and the RetailSmart ones know it.
Dennis PriceIs a retail expert and lectures at Macquarie Graduate School of Management

Create your own league ladder and top it

Law #17of Human Nature: Lists Bring Order & Security
We have a culture based on ranking things and people. Letterman's "Top 10 Reasons Why Top 10 Lists Work" People love to have things ordered for them. Do it. You can make the lists up out of your head. The have authority, nonetheless. So, publish lists of the top 10 most successful customers in their fields. Or the top 20 most frequently complained about things in your industry. Or the 20 most amazing/stupidest things a customer ever did with your product. Look through your industry stats. There must be something you are first on the ladder about do your clients have more revenue that the other guys, even though the other guys have bigger turnover than you? Can you cut a whole bunch of competitors out of league ladder contention by making it a list of independent or "Australian owned" companies. Or don't even call it a ladder. Mitsubishi called itself "Carmaker of the Year" 3 years in a row. It ever gave a reference. I like their style. Sincerely deceptive. Authentically full of it. So pick a title:

Customer Service Bank of the Year
Agency of the Decade
News Source of the Century
Autralia's Favourite Mobile Phone
The Breakfast Cereal More Mothers Approve
The World's Most Enjoyable Beer

My wife is a finalist in the Rural Women's Award for NSW. She is one of two finalists. The organisers say they don't want the award to focus on one winner but on all the women who entered and who were finalists. But there will be only one winner... and how much media will the runner up get?

Price is the quality signal that rules

The brain is easily duped into believing having a high quality wine when in fact it is drinking a "peppermint-favoured burgundy". scientist called Professor Nicholas Potts from Charles Sturt University reported that Recently a group of scientists were given 25 wines to taste in a blind tasting. The bottles had their labels covered but their prices left on. The scientists not only rated the bottles with higher prices as best. Their brains, which we being scanned, reacted to the wines according to the quality signal of price, enjoying the wine with higher prices more than the cheaper drops. But the trick was this: the prices were all reversed, with low priced wines bearing high prices and vice versa. So, as the barrow boy said to the bishop, never mind the quality, feel the width. Does it mean you can bottle swill, price it high and watch sales fly? AT least there is a group of scientists we know it will work for.

ABC logo: a clever announcement

They are changing the guards at Buckingham palace.
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.

Here are the lessons from the ABC logo flap:

1. No one except a new marketing director likes change.
2. ABC viewers are more likely to think they own the place and complain.
3. As the only one of its kind, in the Australian marketplace, it barely needs a logo.
4. Logos must be designed for tomorrow, not today. The CommonwealthBank's logo caused an uproar when it was launched. Because it was designed to look relevant not in 1980 but in 2008 and beyond.
5. Logos must be maintained relative to the Times.
6. The marketing people guaranteed maximum awareness for free by leaking it and unveiling it only 7 sleeps later. They new it would cause a stink.

MK

Marketing as a lifeskill

Being able to peek inside the minds of others is an essential marketing skill. It doesn't come naturally. In the last 2 days I have encountered 2 people whose marriages have come to a dramatic end after 25-30 years. In each case the other person was entirely to blame. They acted badly. Betrayal. One man's wife joined a religious group and left. Another woman's husband chased other women ... and caught them. The obvious question arises: what made her go looking for meaning elsewhere? What made him want to chase women? Logic tells us that each partner in a relationship contributes equally to its good and bad aspects. Was the fact that the religious woman's husband had been poured his passion into an invention he was trying to perfect, working day and night on his own, when she needed passion... and found it in the arms of God? The man who chased women was probably trying to get some sex, plain as that. And with it, some intimacy. Obviously something missing at home. Both the leavees felt attacked and betrayed. Neither of our leavers was intending to hurt the leavees.It wasn't about them. They had simply become irrelevant. But my attempts to get the embittered man and women to try to see the situation from their former partner's point of view entirely failed. They couldn't read their partner's mind all the time leading up to the break up, either. It is a great gift to be able to focus on 'the other'. Then you'll know why people won't buy or cease buying.

Toyota becomes Australian of the Year

I've had a thought...

Few people know this, but Toyota made a plan to take over from Holden as the "Australian" middle of the road automotive brand more than 25 years ago. I was there when it was hatched. The fact that the Australian of the Year is Toyota's 2nd-longest serving spokes-celebrity Lee Kernaghan (the longest being Big John Laws) is one thread in the fabric of the plan. Lee already slips mentions of Toyota into every interview. Don't be surprised if people start to believe that Toyota sponsors the Australian of the Year. Because they do. I wouldn't be surprised if a Toyota celebrity doesn't become Governor General. Then Toyota will be sponsor of the whole country. The company's brand dimension tracking has been following the relentless rise of its "Australian" personality for the last two decades. The jumping chook, the "unbreakable" ute, the "Bugger!" ads, the sponsorship of the AFL and the Olympic Team. Toyota outspent and out strategised the others. The only thing that held them back was their product quality. It was too good. Australians expect Australian made products to be crappy. Just like "Made In Japan" meant tinny, cheap, and unreliable in the 1950s and 1960s when the Japanese started exporting their way out of wartime devastation. Then a Professor Demming introduced the concept of "Quality" and the Japanese 'got it'. Their products became so reliable, they took vast market share from the old leaders. Toyota's quality made it attractive to ordinary Australians.. and at the same time made it harder for its brand to be accepted as Australian. The lesson from this: Marketing is not this year's plan. It is part of the DNA of the company. Does your company have a DNA? Or will it be lucky to last til drinks next Friday?

Want dm that pulls its head off? Then Pitch for it!

My old companion in arms Neil Flett* wrote a book or two on "pitching". But what Neil calls pitching is far too gentlemanly a word for it. Long before the oily men of adland described fawning and sucking up to clients to win their business as "pitching", there were "The Pitchmen" - born again salesmen who travelled the carnival routes with a carpetbag full of snake oil or the like. They can still be seen operating today in some 'paddy's markets' (pitching perfume or watches). They gather a crowd and deliver their speil.

They aren't short. Up to 20 minutes can go by as these masters of melodrama, dramatising every feature of their product into a benefit, hold the baying crowd back, refusing to let them buy his product until he has them at climax point. Then he lets them rush the table and throw their money down.

The earliest direct response tv commercials went to air in the early 1950s in the USA and they used pitchmen doing the pitch to camera. The commercial for Vitamix, the first blender, last half an hour. It was listed in the tv program guide and it even out rated Lawrence Welk and His Orchestra. (OK, so the test pattern could have done that as well.) It was dramatic. It was entertaining. It was educational. It was a darn sight better than the crap that fills free-to-air tv time on the fringes and in the regions - infomercials with no info. Bland bullshit.

The middle aged Vitamix pitchman had the viewers believing that their failure to buy and use a Vitamix to preserve the goodness in the food they served their families was undermining American culture and endangering national security - leaving the nation vulnerable to Russian invasion. And they believed him because he was believable.

If someone out there has a copy of the 5 minutes that survive from the Vitamix commercial, please post it on Utube and let us know. I had a VHS copy - very scratchy. Think they threw it out after I left Boomerang.

Caution: The Program is Suitable for Idiots and Above

I paid $300 to PR Web to send a press release. They offered me so many options I can't remember what I get. I dunno what's happening. ANd their much-vaunted stats package refuses to reveal my press release's performance to me. SO I wrote to the Help Desk: (I'll let you know what they say.)

......

Dear Sir/Madam

I cannot find a way to access my stats. My account page looks nothing like the one used to illustrate how easy it is for everyone else but me to see their stats. I'm sorry. When I log in I get nothing like that. IS it because use a Mac and Firefox? Or because I'm Australian? Is there a rule that every "user friendly system" is created by people who are so IT literate that they assume knowledge that average users don't have. And because we are isolated and alone when we suffer through the process of trying to second guess the geeks who designed it, that we feel that there's something wrong with us when it's you and your dyslexic system which has all the "obvious" functions hidden beneath some innovative new GUI feature that is the compete idiot? Standardisation? Ever thought of it? HWt don't you and PayPal and Slideshare and all the DIY systems standardise? That would be poison to web programmers. They want to make their mark. And so that users face a barrier to usage. Would McDonald's make their burgers hard to get at? No? They make them easy to get at. That's why they sell so many. Get the picture? Ok. I am finished. I have had this trouble with so many DIY web apps. You guys delude yourselves into believing your system is idiot-proof because the power-users who you normally mix with can second guess what the web programmer was thinking when they hid the "Go" button. Or maybe you build dysfunctionality in as a game. Well I'm sick of playing your games. Just tell me which "obvious" thing I overlooked for getting to my stats and I'll look and feel stupid (again) and get on with my life until tempted to use another wonderful DIY web app. Why don't you put a sign on the home page that says: "This application is for idiots and better. Complete idiots nstay clear."
Thank you.

Adopt an Australian Sheep: Unique Last Minute Christmas Gift

Hi,

I have a lesson for you. Don't assume you understand your customers' purchase motivations. You'll find there is more to your offering than first meets the eye. Squeeze the lemon until the pips squeak, and you give yourself many more copypoints for your marketing effort.EG. When I thought the thousands of people 'adopting' our sheep were doing it to help us survive the drought, I was half wrong. They do like to help struggling farmers. But that's only one benefit they get from it.

UNIQUE GIFT: Sheep or lamb adoption is also attractive because they are unique - the perfect gift for the person who has everything. Some givers report the receivers get quite emotional on seeing their adopted sheep.

AUSSIE GIFT: A genuine Australian sheep who lives at an identifiable property and is looked after by an identifiable farmer who you can email and talk to by telephone is about as Aussie as you can get. Perfect for people who live overseas. Expats in London adopt sheep to give each other as gifts.

URGENT DELIVERY VIA EMAIL: You can get your sponsorship certificate within minutes of placing your request, if needed, thanks to our telephone/Internet/email system. So if you are caught after the shops close on Christmas Eve, you can go to www.adoptasheep.com.au or www.adoptalamb.com.au, order and pay for your adoption, then call us to flag the urgency and give us the details of the names you want to give your sheep. We can then issue a certificate on the spot, and send it to you by email for printing at your end. Roll it up, tie it with some ribbon, and voila! Gift Ready.

SEND OVERSEAS INSTANTLY: The 'gift' takes the form of a certificate which shows the adopted sheep, its name and the name of the adopter or gift recipient. These certificates can easily be sent via email and printed out at the recipient's end. Instant gift!

ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SOLUTION: One gentleman ordered 21 adoptions - one for each of his children and grand children. He did all his Christmas shopping in only a few minutes.

THE GIFT THAT EDUCATES: Children can be engaged in the story of their sheep, and learn about the wool industry and its role in building Australia. Adopters can request a sample of fleece and can read about the flock and the wool industry on our blog sites.

THE DONATION YOU CAN ENJOY: Some families are trying to reduce the focus on "getting presents" by giving the money they would have spent on a gift to a charity on behalf of the recipient. While other charities are worthy, they don't give you a sheep or lamb to love and read about and write letters to and put on your wall.

And how do you squeeze the lemon? By speaking and listening to your customers.

Cheers!

MK

PS. On www.adoptalamb.com.au you will find we have Lamb greetings cards and Lamb t-shirts and a "shearing at Uamby" DVD for sale. We're nutty about sheep. How can you not love a lamb?

Conrad gilds his lily somewhat...

Hi,

There's an old joke that, behind bars, everyone is innocent. It means that everyone you meet inside says, sincerely, "I didn' do it." Lord Black of Crossharbour - Conrad Black to you - has been so blatant with his lying hat the prosecutor asking the judge to sentence him to extra prison time for his “stunning lack of remorse”. Blackie, as he might be known among his mates doing porridge, declared that he had done “absolutely nothing” wrong and claimed that he was the victim of persecution.

“If I appeared and sounded humble, I would be described as a broken, disgraced man who is admitting he's a criminal. Well, the fact is I am innocent,” he said. “When you are innocent and when you are wrongly accused, how do you conduct yourself? Do you roll over and say, 'Well, I'm innocent, but since I've been found guilty, I'm going to be humble and full of remorse?' I would have thought not.”

John Laws and Allan Jones made the same pronouncement. Conrad as caught on his own security camera destroying records while the two radio oracles denied the undeniable as recorded from their broadcasts.

Could it be the Howard Punters' Attention Span Theory: the average Joe and Joette don't listen to the ABC and don't follow politics or business news or anything much really, except sports and celebrity gossip. SO you can do and say anything you like. It's as though you don't exist or you're invisible. Just make noises about 'them' and say you're innocent.

Try it.

MK

PS. (The British grocery milk fraud and the Black episode let John Howard off the hook.)

How to predict losers and winners in market share battles

More than ten years ago I predicted that Mitsubishi and Ford would fall on hard times and that Toyota would rise to dominance over Holden, despite the GMH stranglehold of the profitable middle market with the New Commodore. I predicted the movement in the market based upon brand dimensions as measured by an ingenious device called the "Quality of Sales Index" (invented by my friend and colleague Constant Behrens).

What do we mean by "the quality of a sale"? One sale can look much like another, but the difference in quality when you look underneath can be spectacular. Sale A might be the fourth such purchase of the brand, not prompted by a promotion, and likely to have bought accessories from the dealer, where the buyer will have all services done. Sale B might be the first (and only) time the buyer has chosen the brand, bought on price, responded to a promotion, and gets cheap accessories from Backyard Barry's where he gets his service done. (A bit of database analysis would tell you this.) Buyer A's transaction added to the brand equity of the company and Buyer B's did the reverse. If you have a high proportion of Buyer As, the chances are your sales figures will grow. If you have a high proportion of Bs, the reverse is the case.

When Constant and I allowed Toyota's research agency to run the Quality of Sales Index analysis on a mixed group of automotive buyers, the result was Holden No 1, Toyota a close No. 2. Ford was a good distance away at No.3. And Mitsubishi was a sorry last at No.4. We have 2 questions we ask to reveal a person's brand-attachment or brand-engagement. Once you know the concentration levels (on the Quality of Sales Index), you can determine which brands were in trouble - no matter what the market share data says. It says which direction sales are likely to go. On the basis of this one test, I predicted that Toyota would surplant Holden as the "Aussie" brand sometime in the next 5 years.

Let's look at the sales data over the period between when we made the assessment and now. In 1997, Ford at 18% was No. 1 in sales for its 3rd consecutive year. Toyota was No. 2 with 17.5%. and Holden No. 3 with 17.1%. Mitsubishi with 11.9% came in at No.4. But the QOS Index had them in this order: Holden, Toyota, Ford and Mitsubishi.

So what happened? Ford slipped from 21.5% in 1995 to 11.9% in 2006. A severe collapse, and all driven by lack of connection between its brand and its buyers. While the Ford execs were celebrating '97's results (18%), the undertakers were measuring them up. Mitsubishi had a shorter distance to fall from '97 (11.9%) to 2006 (6%), but nearly halving your market share is no mean feat. Mitsubishi buyers are not offered a brand, just a deal. (Both Mitsubishi and Ford hired ex-Toyota execs hoping some of the magic would rub off. It didn't.)

Holden's market share from the 1997 figure of 17% rose to 27.5% in 2000 on the back of the New Commodore. But, as predicted, the brand connections were unravelling and it fell to to 15.2% in 2006. From March 2003, it lost the leader's jacket to Toyota which collected 22.2% market share in 2006. It is expected to repeat the performance in 2007.

What lessons are there in this meander through the past? What fools we were not to offer this analysis tool to the endangered brands. (Toyota never paid us a cent for the exercise). What fools we were not to offer it to brands in other categories. It's like a crystal ball. And it identifies the problem for the forthcoming fall from grace. The most important lesson is about brand attachment and engagement. Without it you're going nowhere. And how do you build brand attachment? One person at a time.

Mad cow disease hits British supermarkets

Qantas, Visy, and Telstra are only copycatting British grocery chains when they rip customers off and try to deny the bleeding obvious... Has everyone in big companies gone mad? Is is Climate Change?

This week all the British majors in groceryland have been found guilty of colluding with their milk supplier to fix prices.
Sainsbury's, Safeway and Asda admitted to the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) that they were part of a price-fixing group that took £270m extra from shoppers. They agreed to pay fines totalling £116m while the cases against Tesco and Morrisons continue after no deal was struck.

Now get this: caught red handed, then lie about it. (Pattern?) The OFT said that the amount received by farmers did not increase. Like Telstra, the majors must have read Hitler's book in which he said always tell a big lie because people are more likely to believe a big lie. All the grocers caught with their 'fingers on the scales' in this case insist that the farm gate price paid for milk did rise and that they were not ripping off customers. "There is no suggestion that what took place was an attempt to make more profit," said Justin King, chief executive, Sainsbury's. Why did it agree to pay a £26m fine? Either the OFT is lying or the CEOs of the majors are lying.

A despairing British shopper said: "Fining them is going to achieve what?...Overcharged twice, once for the milk, and then once to cover the fine"

Of course you can't say they'll be punished by the market. They control the market. The British grocery market has the world's second highest concentration of ownership. Britain's is a cartel. The highest: Australia. A duopoly.

When size is all that matters

My friend and mentor Mike Connor (ex-Unisys, ex-IBM, ex-something else, I forget)sent this comment:

"I'm here in Port Bundaberg and can't receive Next G. Not only that, the Mac software provided by a Telstra supplier will not work with Leapord. I did have a Telstra exec suss it out and sent technitions up here. I'm in a "blind" spot...
As for your concern about being true in your advertising, you only promised to have a marketing thought-a-day - you never promised to write about it.
Keep 'em comin' Mate!

Are brands coated with teflon?

Visy, Qantas and now Telstra... in the dock.

I have friends who work for Telstra who are intelligent, honest people. So it pains me when their employer acts like a boofhead.

Telstra told lies in its advertising: Next G is not everywhere you need it. Far from it, Next G covers less than a quarter of Australia. A Federal Court found the Telco guilty… and it is. And it is telling more lies to defend the first set of lies.

Telstra’s Peter Taylor tried to redefine what the ads said, claiming they did not promise complete coverage. Instead he says they meant to say that: “Telstra's Next G network is the largest mobile network in Australia that provides coverage in more places in Australia than any other mobile network including the old CDMA network.''

The ACCC and the Court assumed that normal consumers would think ‘everywhere you need it’ meant everywhere they were likely to go, no exceptions.

Mr Taylor’s defence is curious: He seems to argue that Telstra customers don’t expect honesty in advertising from Telstra. "Telstra gives its customers credit for understanding advertising. Do people really believe that Vegemite puts a rose in every cheek?''

So it comes under the heading of “puffery” and no doubt Telstra’s legal team will rely on the Carbolic Smoke Ball Company case in torts which enshrines in law the advertiser’s right to use world like ‘the best’ to describe their offerings.

It is one thing to fall foul of the ‘misleading and deceptive’ provisions of the consumer protection regulations. But you take your medicine and move on. But not Telstra. That Sol Trujillo. He’s got cojones.

What the ACCC and the Federal Court fails to understand is that the world ‘you’ in ‘everywhere you need it’ doesn’t mean people who live in rural and remote areas. Many ‘non-you’ people rely on the Telstra’s CDMA network, which it wants to turn off next month.

Meanwhile Telstra chief executive Sol Trujillo earns $22million a year. How does that work?

Industry commentator and editor of iWire, Stuart Corner, says: “When I first saw Telstra's advertising slogan for Next G claiming ‘coverage everywhere you need it’ I thought it unwise, because it is patently false. My second thought was that Telstra is going to be in trouble for this, and it did not take long for the ACCC to prove me right. Telstra has vowed to appeal a federal court decision that its Next G advertising was and continues to be misleading. It would do better to let the matter rest ... The only company that could make the claim "coverage everywhere you need it" with any real claim to accuracy would be a satellite operator.”

Blatant lies. Is this the future of corporate governance? Or is it the past, the moral legacy of the Howard era where telling lies was acceptable for the PM and his cabinet.

PS. Did you note the irony here: me, accusing Telstra of making misleading statements? Mr Thought-A-Day. It's one thing to be a hyocrite. it's entirely another to recognise it. Now where's my $22million?